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2:51 am - Fri 1/20/06 Without a lot of auditions to make me feel like something's actually happening in my life, and without the distraction they provide, I end up fixating on stuff that I really shouldn't fixate on, and thinking thoughts I'd rather not be thinking. (It's all the stuff I've alluded to before--I'm going to die in the gutter, alone, my entire life a meaningless waste, etc--so there's no point in really getting into it here.)
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