7:41 AM - Weds 9.10.14
In The Future, There Will Be Bidding Wars For My Services

(I'll only be able to get a start on this right now - I have to get ready for work in about a half-hour - but "starting is starting", so...)

I don't know that it "comes across" in here - I doubt it does, actually - but I can sometimes be a very hopeful, positive person.

For at least a moment or two at a time.

Had my audition for the Coen Brothers movie Monday morning.

Honestly, it didn't feel very good; in fact, I was startled by just how bad I felt afterwards ("Heartbroken" feels like a good description. I didn't cry, because I don't tend to do that, unless I'm watching a sad movie or something...but I sure felt like crying).

I'd built up the importance and excitement of the event - "I'm auditioning for a Coen Brothers movie!" - but when the big moment came, it was just going into the room with a camera guy, doing one take of the sides, and that was it.

I didn't meet the Brothers. I didn't meet Ellen Chenowith. And I sure didn't feel like anyone gave a shit about whether they'd gotten my best work or not (And I didn't nail my one take - At one point, I was supposed to say "I've got my eye on you" and it came out "I've got my eye out on you". Which might sound like nothing to the casual reader/listener, but it isn't right, it doesn't sound right to me, and it surely wouldn't sound right to the guy who wrote the lines. And it's something I would have corrected on a second take, given the chance).

I had coffee with Howard afterward, which was a good opportunity to "decompress" a bit (I kind of wish I could arrange something like that after every audition), then went home.

When I got home, I checked my email, and there was a message from my agent - I guess he'd checked with the CD for the Woody Harrelson movie (Who I've never seen before this, so far as I recall), and she said, "He was so good!", and went on to say the tape had been submitted to the decision-makers who'd been watching the auditions over the weekend, so she might have more details by the end of the day (Though at this writing, that's all I've heard).

Thurs 9/11/14 (7:36 am)

Anyway...

When I got the news - that I'd done well at the audition on Friday - suddenly I went from being depressed about the Coen Brothers audition, to imagining a "biddng war" breaking out when the two productions started fighting for my services.

I decided that, while it would look good on my resume, and be cool to say I'd been in a Coen Brothers movie, the other movie was really the one I wanted (If/when I had to choose between the two); a better part (With a chance to do some things I haven't done on camera before), the chance to work directly with Woody Harrelson, another opportunity to travel (To Mississippi - Not quite as sexy a destination as Chicago, but still getting to see another part of the country on someone else's dime), and probably a better payday.

"He was so good!" sent me from "wanting to cry", to imagining people fighting over me, and planning my trip to Mississip.

What a difference a couple days make...

When there was no news by the end of the day on Monday, I felt that "bubble of optimism" start to deflate.

Then nothing on Tuesday.

Then nothing yesterday.

I don't know what the time-table is on the Coen Brothers movie, but the Woody Harrelson movie starts shooting on Monday; in an effort to "keep hope alive", I've rationalized that "They might not need me the first week or so of shooting, so there's still a chance I'll get the call"...but in my heart-of-hearts, I know it's not happening.

Which is hugely disappointing. I want a win so badly...and I especially want the "win" of booking a real movie, working opposite a real actor (It's one of the specific things I told my new agency I wanted when I first interviewed with them).

But - "glass half full" time here - I got in front of a casting director I hadn't seen before, for a decent part in a good project, and acquitted myself well.

It "doesn't pay the bills" - at least not today's bills. Maybe next month's, or next year's - but it's a good thing nevertheless.

(10:25 am)

Well, sometimes it feels like nothing's moving...and sometimes things move pretty fast; first, I got an email that I have a callback for yesterday's Footlocker audition this afternoon, and just a minute ago, I got confirmation that the Woody Harrelson movie did indeed not go my way (They're going with "local hires" for just about all the roles that aren't the three British characters).

Disappointing, but as I was saying, not unexpected (I'm not infallible about this stuff...but after a time, you do kind of "get a feel" for when the opportunity has come-and-gone).

And even though there's absolutely no connection, that movie not happening has me back to feeling like the Coen Brothers audition was "not much of anything", and probably won't end up happening either.

But getting a callback for the commercial is nice; that makes seven callbacks (and two "avails") in the last nine commercial auditions, so clearly I'm doing what I need to do in the audition room, and that being the case, I have to believe the decision is going to go my way sooner-or-later.

(Preferably "sooner".)

And while I'd much rather have booked the Woody Harrelson movie - or the Coen Brothers movie, for the matter - in part because there's nothing to what I'm doing in the Footlocker spot (I don't even have lines), if I book Footlocker, it's possible I'll make more than if I'd booked both movies.

Go figure.

And in the midst of all this excitement, I got a call from Shameless (This was actually yesterday) - I'm shooting another episode sometime between the 22nd and 30th (The episode I went to Chicago for was #4; this one will be #8. Hoping for more after that, but feeling doubtful I'm going to get as many episodes as last season).

So "life goes on"...and I'm going back to bed.

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