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2:56 pm - Tuesday, Apr. 15, 2003
Looking for Carol

Looking for Carol

Tue 4/15/03 1:15 pm

I'm starting to see promos for the "reality show" I decided against auditioning for--Mr Personality (I'm pretty sure this is the one, though not 100%, because early on it didn't have a name; all I knew going in was that they wanted guys from 25-45, and "all types", casting agency code for "ugly guys too". And since I fit that rather broad criteria--If I'm not "all types", who is?---I thought I'd give it a go. Then I realized I didn't really want to).

It's a "Bachelorette"-type deal, with the "variation on a theme" being that all the guys are wearing masks. So theoretically, the woman has to decide on the guy based just on his personality. Get it? (But that said, if they really were casting "all types", you'd think there would be physical judgements made about height, weight, and so on. And the picture I saw in TV Guide showed guys in masks that revealed, basically, the complete lower halves of their faces, which means double chins, beards/moustaches, and bad teeth. Though all the guys in the picture, masks aside, looked pretty "model-ish" to me, with sharp jawlines and straight, white teeth.)

Now I'm full of it--"personality", that is--so you'd think this would be my game, wouldn't ya? But I can hardly think of a less appetizing premise; Either you lose out based strictly on this one person's judgement of your "personality", or else you win, and all of America gets a big laugh as you take off your mask--"Ha ha, she picked the ugly guy...!".

(That was the exact point of the first promo I saw; the guy takes off his mask at the end, and he's this red-haired guy missing a tooth. Pretty crazy, huh?)

I'm glad I skipped this one (Though at brunch Sunday, Kay put something of a "bug in my ear" about the upcoming season of Big Brother. And of all the "reality shows" out there, one that basically just requires you to be housebound would be the best shot I'd ever have of actually winning one of these things. But anyway...)

I don't know if anyone who reads this also watches Ed, but the last episode of the season, and possibly of the series, was this past Friday.

I came home Friday night after work and watched it.

I cried at the end.

On Saturday morning, I fast-forwarded to the end...and cried again.

Then I rewound the tape to the beginning, watched the whole episode...then cried at the end again..

I've taped over the episode--I had to. I was becoming dehydrated!--but you get the idea; Little Jimmy is starved for romance, for love, for a happy ending (Or would that be "a happy beginning"...?). I want my own "Carol" (I actually have her too--her name's Jennifer---but thus far, she isn't playing along with my little romantic-comedy scenario).

There was something else that was interesting about watching that maybe-last-episode-of-the-series; A couple entries back, I was bemoaning the fact that a number of my favorite tv shows were "on the bubble" (i.e. In danger of cancellation due to low ratings). But when I watched the episode, with the ending I wanted, with the question answered--"Are these two ever going to get together?"--I was satisfied (I actually went from being afraid the show would be cancelled to being afraid it won't be, because I don't think there's any better ending than what they just gave me).

I was thinking about the entry I wrote yesterday, and I was pretty unhappy with it. Not because of the writing--though I don't think it "pops", by any stretch of the imagination--but for what it reveals about the way my mind works; Two of the nicest people I know took me out to eat, we had a lovely time, they gave me soup, they gave me a computer...and all it took to... offset all that loveliness was a little bit of frustration setting up the new computer (Okay, a lot of frustration, since it still isn't set up, but you catch my drift).

It's been a lifelong question for me--How come "the bad stuff" looms so large and leaves a terribly unpleasant aftertaste, while happy times never seem to mean as much, and disappear without a trace the second they come to an end?

I don't know. I just don't know...


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