11:19 am - Sun 3/26/06
Catching Up (The \"Short Version\")

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I've "fallen behind" in here, and have allowed this to become, in a way, another overwhelming task...

Then I realized, riding home from work last night, that I don't need to notate every mundane detail of my life in here, at least not for your benefit (If I need to do that, for my own benefit, I can stick those entries in my "private" folder); on the contrary, this journal might be better if I employed some "editorial judgement" now and again, and did a better job of figuring out what story it is I actually want to tell in here.

So anyway, here are the "highlights" of what's been going on lately...

The ArcLight

A week ago Friday, I got into a little "thing" with Bonnie, one of the "cash handlers".

Bonnie is often snappish and surly with the crew (It's not a "we don't like each other" thing, cause she's pretty much rude to everyone; thanks to her bad attitude, Bonnie doesn't have any supporters amongst the crew, at least that I'm aware of).

Anyway, it all started when I radioed her for some change while I was at retail; when I didn't get the polite and courteous response I'd hoped for, I flew off the handle--I stormed into the office, loudly and emphatically expressing my displeasure with our interaction.

Obviously, this was a mistake: In the harsh light of day, I see the basic contradiction in yelling at someone, "Hey, be nicer to me!".

(Particularly in front of witnesses.)

I got a little talking-to from one of the managers, and had to apologize to the other cash-handlers who'd witnesses the episode (And who had felt "threatened", according to the manager).

I'd gotten the impression there was going to be some sort of "meeting" with Bonnie, the manager, and myself, but so far, it hasn't happened.

And when I went to apologize to Bonnie for the incident--Not something I was eager to do, frankly--she wasn't ready to accept my apology.

So, to my way of thinking, unless there's some sort of sit-down between the two of us and a representative of management--which, to be honest, would feel a little silly at this point (That should have happened a day or two after the incident, if it were going to)--I feel like I've done my bit and plan to move on from here, sadder but wiser.

(There's a part of me that wants to insist on a meeting with Bonnie--because my bad behavior aside, there's still the issue of someone who's being consistently rude to myself and my fellow crewmembers--but I made my feelings clear to the manager when we spoke, and now it's probably best if I just let it go.)

In happier ArcLight news, I'm getting high marks in my new role as "Usher Greeter".

I particularly enjoyed last week, when I got to greet in The Dome (Or "The historic Cineramadome" as I like to call it) for a V for Vendetta full house.

(The Dome seats 828 people, and is the only theater where the greeter has a mike. So when there's a big house, for a movie people are especially excited about, it takes on something of an "event" air, and it's fun to be a part of that.)

And on Friday, for the second time in the past couple weeks, I went out for beers with some of my fellow crew-members.

(Probably good for me to stick with beer, if I feel the need to indulge in alcoholic beverages: It's relatively cheap, and unlike with hard liquor, I can't physically drink enough to get falling-down drunk--It's too filling. But anyway...)

I enjoyed myself both times, but felt guilty/anxious about spending the money, and also a tad irresponsible, since I had casting workshops the next day (Though oddly enough, I kind of rocked at the workshops in question. Go and figure).

I can't go out with "the guys" all the time, but my mental health won't allow me to never go out with "the guys" either.

Career Crap

An ongoing frustration/concern is that I've had eighteen commercial auditions so far this year, with a grand total of one callback, one "avail"...and no bookings.

To my way of thinking, I should have at least seven or eight callbacks, three or four avails, and at least one booking at this point.

I don't know what's going on, but I don't like it...

(Commercials auditions are tough, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm ever going to be as good at them as I need to be in order to have an actual career. Still, I've demonstrated before that I'm better at them than this. But I'm going to save a more detailed analysis for another entry.)

Still hitting the casting workshops pretty hot-and-heavy.

And as I've said before, I enjoy doing these things, by and large--They get me out doing something, I'm getting to act, I'm getting seen, and I'm enjoying some measure of cameraderie with fellow actors--but I've now done some 35 of these things, and I'm starting to wrestle with discouragement over the relative lack of return on this investment.

Unlike commercial auditions, which I still feel very hit-and-miss about, I almost always feel good about my work at these casting things. It's the time where I'm most reminded that "I can do this shit...".

But that makes me a white, middle-aged character actor who can act. And it hit me the other day how that puts me in a pretty big club out here.

So the question is, "How am I going to distinguish myself from the pack?".

And right now, I don't have an answer to that question.

Well, I was going to get into a "Personal/Misc." category, but I've droned on long enough.

And I'm tired.

And I can save that stuff for next time...

Now I'm going to hit the sack, get up, go vote on the SAG "strike authorization" thing--I'm voting "yes", with some reservations--and head off to work.

Hope all is well in your world...

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