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11:26 AM - 05.22.23

A Face Like A Lucien Freud Painting

As I begin, I have one regret about my last entry - I wish I'd titled it, To Be Awake Before I Die.

Otherwise, it was fine.

Except I also left out a birthday present that actually had more emotional impact on me than anything else I've gotten this year - My niece Ashley sent a picture of us from West Virginia (With Chas, Tucker, and her partner, Jesse), in a wooden picture frame that says "Uncle" at the top, and "Never forget that you are loved" at the bottom.

(She also included a number of pictures from the trip the same size as the one in the frame - 5"x&7", I think? - so I can "switch it out" if I want).

I still think about that trip, and how amazing it was, to have gone from having no relatives for most of my life, to having a gang of "my people" at the screening.

I have "family" now.

It's weird and kind of cool.


Went up to Cary's place in Santa Clarita yesterday for a belated birthday lunch.

We went to a nice place downtown, then he took me to a nearby comic chop, where, after some back-and-forth between two figures, I left with a very handsome Marvel Select Thor (With that figure, and the Super-Skrull Mike M. got me, it's nice having two new figures I don't have to feel guilty about buying).

Then we went back and the three of us (Cary&Kay and Yours Truly) played Scrabble, which I haven't played with actual people in quite some time (And thanks to consistently getting great letters, I won).

When I left, in addition to leaving with "Thor", I also took home a bunch of comics Cary had gotten during the recent "Free Comic Book Day" (I was impressed - The last time I went to a "Free Comic Book Day", at Golden Apple Comics here in LA, I ended up with five books that sucked, but Cary ended up with a lot of good shit).

And Kay gave me this giant double-clipboard thing that she hadn't used in forever, which I'm not sure how I'm gonna use...but I'm sure I can use it for something (It's bigger than the amount of space I currently have on my "art table", so I could using it as a drawing table, maybe on my bed, for larger efforts, or a makeshift "easel", if I want to try drawing/painting that way).

(But speaking of drawing, it's time for me to head to GenSpace for drawing class...!)


(3:40 pm)

Well, drawing class was fun - We learned about Lucien Freud (Grandson of Sigmund), then were tasked with drawing a Lucien Freud-esque self-portrait (Since I "self-portrait" all the time, that part went pretty well - You'd definitely recognize it as me - and I obeyed the instruction not to erase, which I find tough. But if any "Lucien Freud" came through in the drawing, it's just because my face already looks like a Lucien Freud" painting).

(The class has shaken down to half the time spent on the topic of the day - This week, was Lucien Freud; Last week was Surrealism, with a focus on Magritte and Dali in particular - and then drawing something inspired by the subject. Which is fine - though I wouldn't mind some instruction on drawing itself - but makes me wish the class were longer. I'd be game for a half-hour of learning about whatever, then an hour of drawing, but we only get an hour total.)

While I was there, I asked about the painting class that happened last week - As of now, it's a one-off, but they're talking about making it a regular class.

I have settled into being there, after initially finding the idea kind of depressing - It's a place for old people, so if I'm hanging out there, that must mean I'm one of the "old people" - but I think it's helping me maintain a more even-keel, to have something to do "when nothing's going on".

In addition, the time commitment is as much or as little as I want, and, at $10 a month, the price is definitely right.


It looks like I should get my check for the Loot shoot-that-wasn't today.

I assumed I would ultimately get paid...but that said, it's a relief to have it go from an "assumption" to a certainty.

I'm afraid that may be the last money I see for acting work for the foreseeable future...

The DGA contract talks start soon, and SAG's starts on June 7th.

I recently voted "yes" on strike authorization - Not because I want to strike, but because it doesn't make sense to have your union go into negotiations with no bargaining chips.

But it feels like we could be on strike the same time the Writers Guild is continuing to strike (We need protections against AI technology the same way the writers do, but so far, that doesn't seem like something the Producers want to budge on. I know I'm not going to vote "Yes" on any deal that doesn't address AI, and provide better residuals for streaming, but will actors hang tough the way the writers seem to be? I guess time will tell...).


I was disappointed to realize my last audition - for the lead in a low-budget movie - didn't go my way.

I honestly don't know if I'm ever really going to act again

When is what I have going to intersect with what they want in any meaningful way?

Because, 22 years in, it sure-as-shit hasn't happened yet.


Well, I have three other things I could write about...but I think they each warrant more time than I'm prepared to give them at the moment, so I think I'm going to "wrap it up" here.

Till next time...



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