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6:35 PM - Thurs 02.16.23

Putting The "Gold" In "Golden Years"

So what's going on?

Well, the big news in these parts is that Acting Like Nothing Is Wrong is in its first film festival of 2023!

We've been accepted for the Berkely Springs Film Festival (In Berkeley Springs WV), which runs for three days (3/31 - 4/2).

Since we've been waiting for a month and a half for things to start happening, getting into any film festival would have been exciting. But this particular film festival is especially exciting because some of "my people" live in the general vicinity (My brother Tony, his wife Lori, and two of my nieces, Ashley and Brittany).

And since I haven't seen them since we filmed scenes with them for the movie - something like four years ago now - I'm hoping we can have them come see the movie, and maybe hang out for a bit.

I think that would be lovely.

The other bit of happy news is Jane R's back in town for a while (She thinks a couple weeks).

As I've said before, having her in town is always better than not having her in town, so I am very pleased, expecting to have lots of fun with her, just doing what we do (ex. Tomorrow we're going to Blick for an art supply run, then hit Trader Joes, then do El Coyote for lunch).

But she's not just here to hang out with me - with the film a finished project she's feeling the urge to get back into some of her other creative interests. So she's looking to make her LA place a little "Artist/Writer's Retreat", a desire I support wholeheartedly. (Particularly if it means she'll be hanging out here more often).

I've been thinking about my own creativity lately...

I very much like that I do this, and I'm also pleased that, in the past few years, I've been drawing more than any other time in my life (And it feels good that the time and energy invested has led to clear improvement in both areas).

But it doesn't feel like enough. I could stand to push myself a little more (And maybe work practicing my instruments into the rotation).

This is mostly just a mental/emotional thing - I think I would be happier if my life were more about that, and less about "spending most of my days and nights on the Internet".

But there's also a practical, pragmatic consideration as well...

In therapy yesterday, I was going on about one of my big fears these days, which is basically that, while I'm not going to retire from acting, acting is going to retire from me, and I'll be left with not nearly enough "gold" in my "Golden Years" (I don't think Social Security - If I have it, and the Republicans don't kill it - and the couple of diminutive pensions I'll be getting from SAG and AFTRA, are going to be enough to keep me in Chef Boyardee and Coke Zero for the duration of the trip...assuming I don't get struck down in the prime of life by accident or illness).

I don't want to spend whatever time I have left on Earth being a "Greeter" at Walmart or the like.

And I certainly don't want to spend it as a homeless person.

If I'm not going to be the big deal I wanted to be as an actor - and it doesn't seem likely at this juncture - and the other things I thought I was going to have in my life aren't going to happen (They probably aren't), the only dream that remains is to live out my days at least doing things that make me happy, while having a full stomach and a roof over my head.

It doesn't seem like much to ask.

But I have to figure out how to make that happen...using that giant, creative brain of mine.

(If I book a long-running role as a series-regular on a hit show, forget I said all this.)

Till next time...



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