9:05 PM - FRI 10.31.14
My Halloween Costume This Year? "Sad Single Guy".

(Well, it happened again - Spent all day writing, only to lose it all with one errant, accidental "click" - so here I am, back at the beginning, but already tired of "hearing myself write"...)

Earlier, I was thinking about Halloween, and how I really don't have a lot of standout memories of the day.

Halloween memories consist mostly of doing the Halloween storytimes at Schuler Books "back in the day" (Particularly after I starting roping Jane Z. into doing my makeup - always some kind of "monster" thing - because she was so good at it. I really liked that I looked the way "I was supposed to look").

But Halloween when I was a child? A couple very dim half-memories (One year I wore a "Mr Ed" mask, but had on a "Huckleberry Hound" costume, I'm not sure why. Another year I think I was "Spock", who I often called "Dr Spock" when I was a kid. And I think there may have been a "hay ride" one year, where I held hands with Ida Jane Mullins, but that might have just been a "fall" thing, and not Halloween-specific), and that's pretty much it.

It's one of the times where I don't know if "other people" are the same way, or if it's because I didn't have parents telling me stories, or showing me pictures, or what-have-you, and "reinforcing" memories for me.

But it seems like Halloween would have been my "jam", seeing as how I was, not just a kid, but a kid who was going to grow up to an actor one day.

But "the grown-up actor" doesn't really like Halloween that much (Memories of Schuler Books notwithstanding), and I think it has to do, in part, with my being an actor - If I'm going to "dress up", I really want to "embody a character", and I don't have the expertise/imagination to create that, or the money to buy it (I'm not really one for "concept" or "joke" costumes; with me, I want to be really scary and/or "cool").

Like most things, I "over-think" Halloween, making something that should just be fun into a "performance" that has to be perfect.

And if I'm not going to be perfect, I don't wanna do it.

Not that big a problem when it comes to Halloween - cause who gives a shit, really? - but a huge problem when it comes to life.

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