12:25 PM - 12.29.22
Starting this a little more than an hour before an appointment with my prescribing psychologist, Dr. Chin (AKA "Dr. Feelgood")...
Well, I hope you, Imagined Reader, have been having a lovely holiday season.
I often worry, leading up to the holidays, because, in the past, they've been something I've had to "deal with", to some extent or another.
That said, I feel like things are kind of "leveling out" in that regard - While I may have to address some emotional baggage around this time of year, It's been a while since I've been thrown into a serious funk over the holiday triumvirate of Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Year's.
(I hope that's not just the "happy pills" talking...but if it is, I can live with that.)
On Xmas day, I went to the movies, seeing Violent Night at The Grove (And to answer your question - "Is the movie destined to be a Xmas classic?" - I'd say, "Quite possibly").
Had planned to have an early dinner at The Cheesecake Factory afterward...but it was closed (I'm not sure why so many people were at The Grove, because it seemed as if all the stores were closed. I can't imagine they were all going to the movies, but who knows? Maybe they just wanted to check out the decorations).
So then I decided to go to Dupars instead (Where I've breakfasted with Jane R. a number of times)...but I got to them right as they were closing.
(Feel the need to clarify something here - While it was a little inconvenient to me that the stores and restaurants were closed/on reduced hours at The Grove, as a 30+ year veteran of retail/service industry jobs, I was kind of okay with that.)
I'd taken a Lyft to The Grove, so I decided to save some money and get some exercise by walking home.
I was keeping my eye out for open restaurants along the way (My restaurant "default", all things being equal, is a standard "diner-type" situation, but at that point, we were in "any port in a storm" territory).
After a swing-and-a-miss with a Thai place in my neighborhood - where I got the distinct feeling they weren't really interested in my patronage - I ended up eating at a hole-in-the-wall Chinese place a couple blocks from my apartment (And it was good - My only complaint is that they went very heavy on the rice and noodles, but were pretty chintzy with the Broccoli and Beef, which should have been the star of the show).
After that, I popped into a nearby bakery and bought myself a couple pastries for dessert.
So, for not the first time in my life, I had a "Jewish Xmas", which was fun (And also for not the first time, it occurred to me to make "Jewish Xmas" my own "holiday tradition" moving forward. I think a piece of my "holiday angst" over the years has involved not being certain if I have "a place to go" for the holidays, or if I do, feeling awkward over "horning-in" on someone else's holiday festivities).
Finished with the good doctor...
(Told him I didn't feel like the Prozac dose I'm currently on is doing anything to blunt my impulse to overeat - which is basically the point - so we're going to try upping the dosage.)
So where was I...?
(Just signed up for a livestream on Whatnot.com in a few hours, for the possibility of winning a Haslab Galactus, a very big, very expensive Marvel Legends action figure that I don't have the space for if I do win it. But anyway...)
Yesterday I had a little "holiday lunch" with my friend Cary (Thought I was going to him, but he came to me - we met up at Fred 62 in Los Feliz - which was nice).
(Historical note: Fred 62 was the very first restaurant I ate at in LA. With Cary.)
Enjoyed the food and conversation a great deal.
And to top off all this enjoyment, he gifted me with a Marvel Select "Planet Hulk" figure that is a work-of-art (He took a risk - how did he know I wanted it? Or didn't already have it? - but the risk paid off big-time!).
(Back from purchasing some victuals...)
I've gotta say, a big thing that helped to make the season bright this year was the arrival of KFC checks (I received one check a while back, for one day of ADR. But then there was some kind of snag with the payroll company, and I didn't get the rest of my session fees, or any residuals, until fairly recently).
It was a nice chunk of change for a couple days' work (Right around what I used to make at my last "day job" in any given year). Which felt really good, a reminder that I've had a certain level of success out here, as well as an inoculation against the stress of my money just "draining away" as I stress-eat over the holidays, waiting for "The Biz" to start up again.
The last potential holiday threat to my mental health will come on January 2nd...at least if I let it.
Some years, I will get through the holidays in fine form, only to get depressed and anxious when they end, because I've had it in my head that "I just have to get through the holidays and then things will 'start up' again...", only to have things not "start up" for another couple weeks, or a month, or what-have-you.
There's no guarantee things will start happening the day after New Year...but at some point, they will happen - there will be auditions, and gigs, and film festivals, and many other delights I can't even anticipate.
So Happy Holidays, Gentle Readers - Thanks for following my story, and hopefully, there'll be bigger and better things to write about in 2023!
Till next time...