Get your own
 diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

21:50:19 - 2000-12-10
Fats W., Kevin K., and Jim H.
( Listening to one of my favorite cds--Fats Waller, "Turn On The Heat". It's a double set of piano solos I first heard maybe twenty years or so ago. I'd sit in the library at college, listening to it with headphones on. One of the happiest musical memories of my life. )

Chatted with Kevin last night. He had some scary news; While in the bathroom, he had felt "pressure" in his chest, and passed out for a couple minutes ( He did himself--and the bathroom--a little bit of damage on the way down, but fortunately, nothing too serious ).

He went to the emergency room and had a battery of tests, none of which showed anything out of the ordinary, so this morning before we got together, he went in to get fitted with a heart monitor, which he's been wearing today ( We didn't jog, which was fine. We just had breakfast ). He'll go turn it back in tomorrow, and in a day or so, they'll hopefully be able to tell him what happened.

It's kind of strange. Even in a situation like this, Kevin comes off as relatively placid. I mean, he indicated concern, of course, but it seemed comparitively mild ( I'd be calling all my friends--all three of them--saying "Ok, I need someone checking on me every hour until this crisis is RESOLVED..." ). I think he's GOT to be worried. He's just not "Expressive Boy", which has me wondering--Could that be part of the ISSUE here? I don't know.

There is certainly cause for concern--I'm not a doctor, but I know chest pressure and sudden fainting spells are not signs of the human body operating at peak efficiency--but I'm telling myself there's no reason to get riled up till we find out what we're dealing with ( Kevin will probably read this and think to himself, "What WE'RE dealing with?" ).

As a single person, this touches on something I try not to think about, cause if I did think about it, I'd have an even harder time sleeping at night than I already do--"What if I have a major heart attack or a stroke or something while I'm at home? What if I get all liquored-up and smack my head on the coffee table, William Holden-style?".

The answer to that question is pretty simple, really--I'd probably die.

Intellectually, I acknowledge the possibility of my untimely demise, but I've never done anything about it. I always think I should carry around a list of contacts, but I never have. I don't have a will. I'm not sure I even have Jane listed as beneficiary for my life insurance ( For a long time, I had my old girlfriend named, and in a way, I think that might be a nice thing; "Sorry I was such an asshole when we were together. Now that I'm dead, I hope this $50,000 helps" ). But Jane's the one who would be stuck with my burial details--If not her, who?--so she would need to get any moneys available, for the crematorium or the funeral home or the taxidermist or whatever ( Besides, she's the only person who's ever indicated any interest in my "private papers", so she'd need some money to organize the Hoffmaster Library ).

 

previous - next

0 comments so far
about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!