2:33 pm - Monday, Jan. 03, 2005
Letter To Kevin2

Hi Kevin,

Thanks for your recent update.

Haven't seen "Ocean's 12", but your lackluster review is in keeping with other critical thought on the movie.

There's always something I COULD see at any given time, but nothing's really "speaking to me" that's out in theatres (I may still see "The Life Aquatic" cause I've liked all Wes Anderson's other movies, and like to see what Bill Murray's up to at any given time).

I wanted to see "House Of Flying Daggers", by the same director who did "Hero", which I loved, but I snoozed on it, and now it's only playing at a theatre some distance away (But happily, Tim bought the DVD in Chinatown, and will be loaning it to me sometime in the near future).

For days on end, every time I checked in on the CNN website, the death toll from the tsunami had gone up. I found myself thinking along your same lines--We may THINK we run the show, but nature can still kick some pretty serious ASS...--and am grateful that I'm not currently writing this entry underwater.

Your holiday sounded nice. Can I borrow your parents sometime...?

My Xmas kinda sucked--lonely, bored, etc--but I had a nice New Years.

I tend to go into these things (Parties, and particularly, New Year's Eve parties) with some trepidation--"Will I be bored? Will I not have anything to say? Will it be all couples, so I'll be left looking at the floor come midnite, when everyone else is huggin' and kissin'?"--but it was fine. There was just Garrett and his girlfriend Meredith, another couple, and four of Garrett's male friends (Including Yours Truly). And at midnite, "huggin' and kissin'" was replaced by "toastin' and shakin' hands", which was fine.

Beforehand, I debated whether I would drink or not, in the end opting for "moderation" (I was so moderate--three or four beers, two glasses of champagne--that I wasn't even hung-over the next day, which was a nice surprise).

Like a couple of guys at the bookstore, Garrett is a SERIOUS "action figure" collector, so I got a big kick out of checking out his huge collection of "man dolls" (as Tim G. calls them). And when I expressed particular admiration for "The Thing", he went into his closet, and pulled out a variant "Thing" figure and GAVE it to me (Currently, he's going toe-to-toe with "Cremator", the figure I bought back when you came to visit, on top of my bookshelf).

As I told Jane recently, Garrett's cute girlfriend, nice apartment, new car (A Scion), and dozens of action figures, gave me hope--It may not be possible to "have it all", but it's definitely possible to "have a lot of it"!

Not too much news to report...

Have my first audition of the new year later this afternoon, for SBC. Don't know much about it, except that I'm a butler, and they requested actors who are good with physical comedy. But I'm glad to be "getting out of the gate" quickly in 2005.

Have another dentist appointment on the 19th, so they can put a more permanent filling in the second root canal tooth (I TOLD them cherry pie filling wasn't a good idea, but they wouldn't listen). After that, it's on to whatever I need to do next in my march towards braces (I think I have to go somewhere and get a battery of X-rays. I'm assuming that's when they'll tell me I'll actually need that super-expensive "head replacement" I've sometimes joked about).

I'm nervous about braces--Mostly about the money (And about spending that money for a disappointing RESULT)--but I'm "feeling the fear and doing it anyway". It's something I want personally, it certainly won't hurt my career, and issues of appearance aside, I feel like it would be somehow...GOOD for me (To prove to myself that the poor little foster child nobody took care of is now a big capable man, able to care for himself).

I recently got the LA Community College winter schedule for adult ed classes in the mail--The notary public class is being offered in February and March, with a supplemental class once you've passed the exam in April (Because "The Secretary Of State has recommended more training for new Notaries").

(I was disappointed to see that you still have to go somewhere else to take the exam; some private companies offer the class, and you take the exam right at the end. But those places were all some distance away, while City College is about a mile down Vermont.)

Much to my embarrassment, I was a little ALARMED when I got the class schedule--Thinking to myself, "Oh SHIT! Now I actually have to DO what I've only TALKED about doing..."--but once again, I'm going to "feel the fear and do it anyway". I'm pretty scared of becoming, basically, an "independent contractor"--Till now, "self-motivation" hasn't seemed to be my strong suit-- but it really feels like the thing to do. Borders is killing me by degrees, and while being a Mobile Notary doesn't exactly feel like a "calling", it will probably, at the very least, give me an income as good or better than Borders, for less time and energy invested (I can do all the "getting the word out about my services" from home. And I'm assuming that the bulk of the time commitment will involve driving to the job, and you're the one who determines how far afield you're willing to go).

I'm feeling some internal pressure, not just because I WANT out of Borders (And to be spending more of my time on acting career stuff, not to mention stuff I want to do when I'm NOT being an actor), but because I've TOLD people I'm getting out this year.

Well, it'll be interesting to see what happens, in any case (I imagine I WILL actually get out this year, because in the rare case I actually want something to happen, then take steps to MAKE it happen, I've noticed it usually happens. Which makes me wonder why I'm not "taking steps to make things happen" more OFTEN...). Basically, I'm looking for 1) A more enjoyable day-to-day existence, and 2) Ways to put acting more "front and center".

It doesn't seem like that much to ask.

Anyway, I think I've wasted enough of your time here, so I'm going to wrap this up, and figure out what needs to happen before I'm off to my audition, then to work.

I hope you're doing well, and I look forward to hearing about your wacky misadventures when you can find a moment to shoot off an email.

Jim

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