1:39 pm - Wednesday, Jun. 14, 2006
Little Jimmy's Big Hospital Adventure (III)

I remember having a very specific thought when I was in the hospital on Tuesday: �Well, it looks like I have about a day-and-a-half in these sorts of situations...� (Basically, a day-and-a-half before I freak out completely).

Between the relative novelty of the situation, and pretending I was a �special guest star� on ER, I managed to hold off my panic and fear for awhile, but about mid-day Tuesday, my physical discomfort and panic and general bad/sad thoughts started to feel overwhelming.

From the journal:

Everyone�s been quite nice, but it�s still a hospital. I�ve been hooked up to an IV practically since I got here (I miss food so bad, not to mention sugar and caffeine), I�ve been stuck like a pincushion, poked, prodded, cat-scanned, ekg�ed, x-rayed, and asked repeatedly if I�ve made �poo-poo� or �pee-pee� (A lot of the nurse�s and assistants are of foreign extraction).

Then I went on about what the doctor had to say when he came into see me�In addition to my abdominal problem, which he was guessing was an inflammation of my small intestine that was pressing on my bladder, I also had pneumonia (I�d come in dehydrated and with a 101.1 degree fever).

In other words, I�m a mess.

And today, I became an emotional mess as well�As I told Cary when I talked to him earlier, I knew I was in trouble when I teared-up after watching the Thanksgiving episode of King Of The Hill (The one where they�re stuck at the airport).

When the doctor left (After telling me exploratory surgery would likely be scheduled for tomorrow afternoon), a nurse came in, and I expressed my concern that this was happening very fast, before I knew how the �financial aspect� was coming along (I had signed some form requesting charitable assistance, but didn�t know the status of the request at that point).

The nurse, a pretty young Asian girl named Aurora, told me her understanding was that it had all been taken care of, and much to my horror, when she told me that, I burst into tears.

She came over and held my hand for a moment, and told me it would all be okay (Editor�s Note: And I�m actually glad it happened�In spite of my deep embarrassment, the episode seemed to �bond� us for the rest of my time there).

Wednesday

From the journal:

Day three at the hospital...

I miss food. I miss Diet Coke. I miss my computer.

And I miss Kipper, my cat.

I�ve been concerned, because I didn�t expect to be admitted straight from the emergency room to the hospital, and for awhile I couldn�t get my apartment managers on the phone (I kept getting the machine), but I finally got Yvette on the phone person-to-person, and she agreed to feed Kipper, so that�s a big load off my mind.

Actually, a lot of today has been �a load off��I�m still not crazy about what�s happened and what�s about to happen, but at least (Barring catastrophic findings once they open me up), I�m not feeling like this is going to be the apocalypse I�d feared.

I then went on to write about the whole QueensCare thing, and how �huge� that was.

I also wrote about the social worker giving me an application for Social Security disability benefits (Which, left to my own devices, I would never even have considered; As I told someone in an email, I think of a �disability� as being blind or deaf or having two heads. But I guess if you�re not able to work for a time, that�s disabled enough for Social Security).

And I wrote about how relieved I was that I wasn�t going to be just handing this all over to Cary to deal with (Asking for or receiving some �help� when you need it is one thing. But putting Cary in a position where he�s solely responsible for my continued viability out here...well, let�s just say I didn�t want that).

 

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