9:55 am - Thurs 4.02.20
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Well, what does one write about when there's nothing to write about...?

(Guess I'll find out.)

Actually, to my surprise, I'm about as busy as I was before the viral shit went down - Since I've been basically homebound, I've had a self-tape audition, two voiceover auditions (One I have yet to record), and completed two Cameos - but it still feels like I'm "not getting anywhere" because I'm not going anywhere.

(The auditions raise a question, which is, "What happens if I actually book one of these bad boys?". But I guess since they're basically all voice work - though I think the one gig had a motion-capture element as well - I could just go to a studio and record them with a lone engineer. Though, clearly, we'd both have to be dressed in full Hazmat gear...and forego the traditional introductory open-mouthed kiss )

On the documentary end, a milestone - Jane was recently given the first "rough cut" of the film (She also sent it to a trusted friend in Santa Fe for feedback).

As the "rough" in "rough cut" suggests, this is not yet the film that's going to wow them at film festivals across the country and all over the world. But it has the basic "shape" of the thing.

Jane seemed quite happy with it, and "Trusted Friend" had a very positive reaction as well (Though she perceived something as "missing" that Jane and I both agreed was a fairly big oversight. But again, we're talking "rough cut" here, not "completely-polished-jewel-of-a-film", which is why Jane shared it with her in the first place - Better to know something is "missing" now than when we're at Sundance or what-have-you).

Jane was going to share this rough-cut with me, but she's decided (with my blessing) to hold off till the next round (As I've previously stated, Jane initially thought she wasn't going to share anything with me till close to the end of the process. But as she grew to see me less as a "subject" and more as a friend/collaborator, she's pretty much kept me "in the loop" all along the way.

It seems impossible to know, at this point, what the "timeline" is going to be for completing the film - there's still loads of editing to do, a Composer needs to be hired (And they have to do their thing), Jane has to be able to come here and do some more shooting and voiceovers and whatnot with Yours Truly, etc - and when it is completed, who knows what the film-festival circuit will even look like?

But, based on no information whatsoever, I've decided that, at the very least, the film will be completed and being submitted to places by Summer's end.

(One thing I have mixed feelings about...It seems very possible film-festivals will go "virtual" as a result of Covid19. Even if some kind of "all-clear" gets issued in the next month or two, I imagine there will be a high degree of "skittishness" about large public gatherings for some time to come. And while I've had a certain "fiscal anxiety" about ponying up a lot of dough to attend a zillion film-festivals - particularly when I',m looking at a Shameless-less future - If I don't get to have "The Film-Festival Experience" at all, I'm gonna feel downright gypped.)

I'd assumed things were merely "delayed", that the final season of the show happening was pretty much a given, because "Why not?" - The show is still Showtime's biggest, after all.

But then I heard about Grey's Anatomy.

That show's production was interrupted mid-season by the virus, and I recently read that the Producers decided to cancel the rest of the season, rather than resume at some later date.

Now, while circumstances seem quite different between the two shows (That show is already renewed for next season, for example), that did "put in my head" the possibility that "the powers that be" could decide, for arcane financial/logistical reasons, that the last season was it for Shameless (It's even struck me, in a real "nightmare scenario", that Bill Macy could contract the virus - He's healthier than I am, to be sure, but that said, he is 70 years old, so...).

But as of this writing, and until/unless I hear otherwise, I am continuing to assume that an 11th-and-final season of Shameless is coming.

And a commenter on a Shameless Facebook page said something that's helped me remain calm up till now - Basically, that while the show was supposed to start shooting in March this year, it typically begins shooting any time from late-Spring-to-early-Summer. So, his reasoning went, "If things end up delayed till then, that's kinda/sorta...normal".

So, for now, I'm basically "okay" if the show doesn't rev up next week, or the week after that.

Or the week after that.

But if we get to June or July and shit still isn't happening?

It's possible I might start to freak the fuck out.

Weight Watchers is okay,...I think.

Corporate seems concerned about hours. And I can't imagine this situation is a good one for "the bottom line".

But I'm still doing the meetings I was doing before and I haven't heard anything about virtual meetings being canceled/"consolidated" just yet, so I'm going to "call it good" till I hear something suggesting otherwise.

Truthfully, I kinda dig the new "paradigm" - sleep in/lounge about till about 15 minutes before the meeting, throw on a shirt with a collar (Pants not required), hang out in the meeting, chat with my coworkers for few minutes afterward, then go about my day.

The only thing I'm having a little bit of trouble with is being "on-camera" for the length of the meeting - I have very little to do or say during a meeting (And in some circumstances, it can be the second or third time I've heard the meeting that day), and while I know nobody's fixated on me, I certainly can be seen at any given time, so as an employee, I'm very aware of yawning, fidgeting, needing to step way, etc.

But on the whole - at the moment, at least - it's a pretty sweet gig. And I'm grateful to have it, not just for the modest salary but for something that "breaks up the day".

All-in-all, I'm still pretty good.

I don't feel unduly worried, at the moment, which has been something of a surprise - I worry when there's no real reason to, so why not when an honest-to-goodness pandemic hits? - but I'm trying not to question it.

And in terms of the stress other people are experiencing - about their jobs, about their loved ones, about being lonely or bored or feeling isolated, etc - I'm actually feeling vaguely guilty about how relatively chipper I feel (My "issues" - feeling sleeper than normal, hurting my back a few days ago, and an ongoing frustration that I can't live-stream my Zumba class without it buffering so much it's not worth it - seem pretty small, in light of circumstances).

But all that said, I am very aware that "my turn" could come at any moment - I could imagine any number of circumstances that would make this go from "lamest vacation ever" to something a whole lot scarier.

But for now?

As of this writing?

WHEEEEE....!

Till next time..

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