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4:50 pm - Weds 10/20/04
A Short-But-Meaningful Entry

A Short-But-Meaningful Entry

So, whatcha think...?

The new pictures--Which were uploaded with a minimal amount of pain and suffering--are two of six now up on LA (If there's a big demand, I'll post the other four pictures in my next entry).

No big news to report from here...

I'm still thinking a lot about the whole "process/results" thing; It strikes me that I'm not going to get over obsessing over results until I quit thinking the "results" are going to save me--From my poverty, from my loneliness, from my boredom, etc.

The belief that "I will be happy when..." is proving a tough nut to crack, but crack it I must--Yesterday at work, I spent the day obsessively checking my cell phone, for the call from JS that never came, and it ruined my day (Granted, I was at Borders, so it wasn't going to be a banner day anyway, but you get my point).

I can all-too-easily imagine "ruined days" like yesterday becoming ruined weeks, months, years. A wasted, unhappy life, spent waiting for the calls that didn't come, for the prizes that weren't won.

And the thing is, I know better.

But how to create a life, in the here-and-now, that doesn't leave me continually looking towards the horizon, waiting for deliverance?

How can I be happy right here? Right now?

Stay tuned.


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