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02:26:38 - 2001-01-29 While napping, I dreamed I'd taken a hit of acid before realizing, "Oh shit! I have to go to rehearsal!". Then I woke up. I don't know what that meant, but I found it interesting ( For the record, It's been maybe fifteen years since I've done acid ). It's certainly different than the "I'm lost backstage and don't know what play I'm in" dream that I normally have when I dream about theater. But anyway... I've been writing and re-writing this entry for the better part of an hour. During that process, I came to realize that I'm feeling more sour about "Oliver" than I've let on, even to myself. I thought I was over it, but I'm not. So what's the problem (s)? Jane referenced one of the problems this week, when she said "We're getting sick of the show, but it's not ready for an audience yet". I feel that way about the show in general, and my work in particular. As I told Kevin at breakfast today, "I know I'm going to enjoy performing the role once the show opens, but right now, if Jane said tomorrow that we weren't going to do the show after all, I think I'd be fine with that". ( Kevin made a good point at breakfast today; When I was saying that other people seem to feel better about what I'm doing than I do, he said, "Better that than the other way around". And that's certainly true--Ultimately, who CARES what I think about my own work?--but I'm still having a tough time with it. ) I find myself frustrated over all the wasted time, all the "inspiring" speeches Dan makes that "inspire" me to want to say, "Can we just rehearse the fucking SHOW please?", the late starts and waiting around for who-knows-what, and being told that something is going to take X amount of time, when I know from experience it's going to take a WHOLE lot more time than that. Doug A. and I are having some tempo problems during my numbers. It's kind of funny, in a way--I was the first one who complained about numbers feeling "draggy"--but now he's telling me I'M bringing things down ( He's says I'm slowing down at the beginning of verses on "Pick a Pocket", and not coming in on the beat. We also seem to be having problems keeping together on "Reviewing the Situation" ). In a word, I'm frustrated about it. But I don't want to imply that the show is about to crash into an iceberg, or that people are going to point and laugh at me onstage Thursday for all the wrong reasons. There are a number of things in the show that are going pretty right--"Bumble", "Widow Corney", "Dodger", "Oliver", "Nancy", "Bill Sykes", and even "Fagin" ( Tempo problems aside ) are, in my estimation, going to go over very well--but the "orphans" are really hit-and-miss, Tim L. is simply awful in his scene as "Dr Grimwig" ( As are the two older ladies in their scene with "Brownlow" ), and the whole final part of the show--from Nancy's murder to the end--is really weak, except for "Dodger's" indignant speech when he's being taken away by the police ( But you do have the dog, a gunshot, and my "Reviewing the Situation" reprise/reuniting with Dodger that will hopefully maintain some interest ). But it's WAY too late for me to be doing this...I'll have to take this up again later.
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