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9:52 PM - Fri 9.15.17
I'm not the type

I'm Not The Type

(Had been working on an entry, but I just re-read what I'd written so far, and to quote a book I read a long time ago, "It was so boring my teeth fell asleep". So I'm gonna start over...)

I don't usually have anything to do on a Friday evening...but tonight, I had dinner with a half-dozen or so people from Zumba class, to celebrate a classmate's birthday (Carlos V, who is a really good guy).

I was pleased to be invited, and the place - Dr Robbin, on Virgil - which I've never eaten at before, surprised me (My unfortunate default assumption is that if the restaurant is "healthy", nothing's gonna taste good. But we ordered a number of different things to share, and I enjoyed all of it).

I don't know exactly how long I've been doing Zumba now - We tried to figure it out tonight, and Thea thought maybe a year-and-a-half? - but tonight's pleasant little outing reminded me of the rewards of trying something new, like Zumba, and how it can have rewards beyond the obvious ones you might imagine (As I told the group tonight, it feels kind of amazing that I've gone from struggling to get through the first class, to being jealous of the people who get to have class with Thea four times a week - I can't do her classes on the weekend because of WW).


While things continue to feel pretty grim audition-wise, Shameless is perking along, so I'm grateful for that - In addition to the promo thing on Tuesday, today I got word that, after sitting out #810, I'm on for #811!

(Actually, I was surprised when my agent messaged me that the promo was "definitely on" today...because I didn't realize it hadn't been "definitely on" till now. But anyway...)

Sat 9/16/17 4:40 pm

Laptop's not working very well...

Watching the last couple episodes of "Justified", and thinking how much I'd love to be a meaningful part of something that good.


Guessing I don't have much to do in Tuesday's thing, because they haven't sent a script yet, but I imagine it'll still be fun to be there, doing something a little different than usual.

The thing where I'm depressed over how auditions aren't happening has me thinking quite a bit about how the acting world sees me - or maybe more to the point, doesn't see me.

I don't know whether I have been tested and found wanting, or was never wanted in the first place...but whatever I'm selling, no one's buying (To the point where I'm no longer sure what it is I'm selling, exactly).

In my heart, I'm a leading man, but I'm the only one who buys that.

Used to think I was a chameleon of an actor, which was really never the case. It just seemed that way because I was doing community theater, and was a large-ish fish in a small-ish pond.

After that, it took awhile to get used to the idea of instead being a "type", but then I began to embrace the idea (Of being called in for basically the same role all the time), at least pragmatically - If you're a "type", you might not get to play a wide diversity of roles, but if you're good enough at it, you get to work, and that's not nothing.

But 16-plus years down the road, and I haven't really emerged as a "type" either.

So...what to do?

I guess just keep trying, keep hoping that something meaningful will break my way, that's there's something I am, something I can do, that people will catch on to, and respond to, before it's too late.

(Well, that got a little depressing, didn't it?)

The post-work day has gotten away from me, but Saturdays after work often consist of me being unable to sleep, but in too much of a fog to make much happen, and going through the day in an unproductive funk as a result (Truthfully, that's often the case, but it's particularly the case on Saturdays).

But I've gotta go out, walk, do something, if for no other reason than to have more stuff to write about (Oh, and I need to get some Coke Zero, or whatever they're calling it nowadays).


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