2:21 PM - Thurs 9.10.15
On "Pins", "Avails", and "Fairy Tale Endings"

Well, I've done a little bit today - I finished reading a play on PTSD (I'm participating in a play-reading tonight), returned a call about picking up my new CPAP machine (I have an appointment on Monday morning), emailed a new school about doing the Bookpals thing there (Since I never got any response back from the principal at Commonwealth, where I did it last year), and watched a documentary on James Randi (An Honest Liar).

But in my heart-of-hearts, and to my deep chagrin - cause I know it's the worst thing in the world for my mental health - I feel like all I've really been doing is "waiting for the phone to ring".

I can't seem to help myself.

The "pin" for Agent Carter didn't pan out. Which was not surprising - the tentative shoot date for the role was yesterday, which meant it conflicted with Shameless (More on that in a bit), and it was hard to imagine they wanted me so badly for this little role they'd be willing to up-end their shoot schedule (Assuming I was even their first choice) - but it was disappointing nevertheless.

(As I've said before, even though I've experienced first-hand how not booking a role can be the best thing that can happen, and doing well in the room can mean "a return ticket" back to that casting office for what could be a better role, "close, but no cigar" is still not much fun.)

(Late-breaking news: Just got a call from my commercial agent - An audition tomorrow for a New York Lottery commercial, which would shoot next week in New York.)

The call I'm waiting for (Which I guess could, alternately, be "the email I'm waiting for") is for Chicago Med.

I just emailed my agents to see if we can get some definitive word, mostly because because the "not knowing" is making me crazy. But now, with the potential of a shoot in New York next week - And wouldn't that be fun? - I kinda/sorta need to know.

Taped the audition at my friend Tim's house on Sunday - Felt good about it at the time, but with each passing day, I've second-guessed myself more.

But second-guessing aside, I was thinking about it earlier; I did what I was supposed to do - I showed them my take on the scenes I was given. Not some imaginary "perfect take" that would automatically get me the gig, just a take that indicated how I would likely play the part if I were cast.

(More late-breaking news: My agent just got back to me. Said she emailed them yesterday and never heard back. She assumes, as do I, that they "went another way", but said she'd check again. And, as I told her in my return email, "I need to extinguish that last ember of hope, so I can move on".)

So, in terms of auditions, where once there was hope, now there's mostly just...disappointment (Add one more - as we approach late afternoon/early evening, it's looking like I didn't even get a callback for the Coffeemate commercial).

And I call tell myself, no bullshitting required, that "there was a lot of positive stuff" going on with this recent little "wave" of auditions - people called because they remembered me, the Dick Wolf people called without my ever having seen them, I got an on-the-spot audition "upgrade" for the sit-com, and I was "pinned" for Agent Carter.

And all this stuff could have more positive repercussions "down the road".

But at some point, you want/need to just fucking book something...particularly something that makes you feel the sense of "forward momentum" you so desperately crave.

Well, another day, another round of "waiting for the phone to ring"...

But it's not about Chicago Med - It seems pretty clear, at this point, that "things didn't go my way" on that one.

Now I'm waiting to hear about the New York Lottery commercial.

As I said on Facebook, I had a terrible time getting to the audition today (In Santa Monica) - First off, I made the bad decision to go down surface streets (seemed like a good idea at the time), then I went to the wrong place (hadn't read the notice as carefully as I should have), then couldn't find the right place.

In short, "mistakes were made".

My commercial agent was a moment away from telling them I wasn't gonna make it (I think I was later than I've ever been to an audition before - almost an hour), but I got there, sponged off the "flop sweat" best I could (I was also wearing a sweater vest for the role, which didn't help matters), and went in and did my thing.

And on the way back home, I hadn't even gotten out of Santa Monica when I got word - I am on "avail" (For the uninitiated, that's "commercial speak" for "Haven't booked the gig, but they're interested". On the "theatrical" end, they call it being "pinned").

While this gig potential gig doesn't have the same "possible game-changer" feel as Chicago Med, there's still any number of reasons I'd really like to book it, beyond my normal "I want to book everything" mode - I don't think I've ever booked a commercial from a "straight-to-callback" audition (Where I've gotten to "skip" the first audition), I worked with this director back in 2009 (For a FedEx commercial) but have never booked a gig with him since (And he's brought me in a lot), and I'd love to get a free trip to NYC.

And perhaps most of all - after the shitty time I had getting to the audition today, I'd love a "fairy tale ending" where I book the job!

(So wish me luck!)

Part of me is dying to write about it in great detail, because it was fun, there was an aspect that was "something a little different", both to play as a character and to experience as a person, and - unless they cut something - I'm going to be in two scenes, a rarity for me on the show.

But for fans of the show, fans of me, and fans of me on the show, I don't want to "spoil the fun".

So I'll just say I had fun doing it, and when the time comes, I hope you'll have fun seeing it.

I actually had a commercial audition earlier that day (Which, at its original time, would have conflicted with Shameless. But they let me go in a few hours earlier...which, sadly, because of LA traffic, still kind of conflicted with Shameless, since they were ahead-of-schedule that day and would have liked me to come in earlier than my call-time - Ultimately, I still made it there ten or fifteen minutes early, and it was fine (And the fault was with production for not calling me in earlier in the first place)...but it felt like a warning to really think hard about accepting an audition on a day I'm shooting something else, because there's always the chance you'll get a call asking, "Can you come in any earlier?".

And on that note, I think I shall knock off, and dream of a call or email that says, "You booked the gig...!".

previous - next