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8:26 am - Fri 3.05.2010
Quick and Dirty

Quick and Dirty...But Mostly "Dirty"

I've got a little less than twenty minutes before I need to start getting ready for my Friday morning WW meeting, so this will be brief (And likely sloppy and full of typos). But anyway...

Still not much happening on the acting front, which makes me feel like sad and aimless. But I'm trying not to let that feeling get the best of me, by thinking of what else I can do with myself, and what non-acting things I might have to look forward to (Maybe an Oscar party on Sunday, for example. And the Paleyfest panel on Men Of A Certain Age next Friday).

One nice thing that happening, with my commercials (At least with the Kayak one) is that they are starting to get some network airings. Which means Jimmy makes more $, which I believe is a good thing (I know I'm biased, but really - If i make more money, I'm a happier guy and spread that happy feeling wherever I go. Not to mention putting more money back into the economy - by being able to afford new headshots, new pants, etc).

It's been slow, audition wise - nothing this past week, for example, and only three auditions in all of February - and the last audition I had was depressing.

"Depressing, Jim? But you live for auditions!"

That's true. But sometimes, auditions come up, and what they want from you, and/or the way they're conducted, make you feel like you're not so much an actor bringing something interesting to the proceedings, as much as a piece of meat.

Don't much like auditions where all they basically do is take your picture - There's nothing I can really do about the way I look. Looking the way I do - God help me - is not a "creative decision" I made.

And that's the thing, and it's high on the list of "biggest frustrations I have out here" - I've been here nine years now, and I still aren't getting auditions where my unique "take" on the material could actually win the day - I go in for auditions, and the material is such that there's not really much to do with it beyond just doing it, and from there, it's a weird sort of beauty contest (Or in the case of the roles I go in for and who I'm competing against, an "anti-beauty contest"".

Don't know if I'm making sense or not - But basically, I want to be an actor, and be valued for something beyond being ugly "distinctive looking".

Maybe that's too much to ask for...but I hope not.

Going into this month, I've made more money from my two commercials this year than I made from Weight Watchers in all of last year (Which actually says more about how little I make at Weight Watchers than how much I'm making off my commercials).

So I'm not anxious about paying rent this month...or the next...or the month after that.

Which means my anxieties shift to "How long are the good times going to last this time?" and "How do I figure out the best thing to do with my money, when I don't know how much money I'm going to make, or how long it's going to keep coming in?".

(When you're Jim Hoffmaster...there's always something to stress over.)

Well, my time is up. I have to go cleanse myself....


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