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10:56 PM - Tues 12.30.14 With the new year, I'm feeling the urge to "clear things off my desk". The items below are things I wrote down on post-its, the backs of envelopes, etc, intending to get them into a journal entry "sometime". "Now" is that time. (For those of you who are interested, I'll be "Year in Review"-ing very soon...) "Things Other People Do That Bother Me Because It Bothers Me When I Do Them" 1. Telling their "sob story" to anyone who'll listen. 2. Being "on". 3. Acting helpless. 4. Being overly angry/hard on themselves. 5. Wanting to put their decisions on me ("What do you think I should do?"). 6. Being negative about some plan or desire they have ("It's probably really stupid, but this is what I want to do...") People really resist change, even if or when what they're doing is dysfunctional/maladaptive. Ex. Constantly checking my email even when I know nothing of interest will be there (I'm talking specifically about auditions here, though I also check, often late in the evening, when I'm just lonely and want to be "communicated with", which always makes things worse). Occasionally, the people I weigh in at WW are...smelly. I think some Christians hate other people because of "Original Sin"- They can't really do the "Love the sinner, hate the sin" thing they're supposed to do, they just end up "Hating the sinner". Why doesn't Atheism have "the upper hand" over religion? Because it doesn't comfort. Why don't we see more "butch" lesbians having sex on tv? The same reason there aren't more people who look like me having sex on tv - The majority of people just wouldn't want to see it. Realizing that I have something of an "addictive personality" - I can't get drunk enough, high enough, full enough, anything enough. There's just an emptiness that can never be filled. I am a "hungry ghost". Watched a documentary on Harry Dean Stanton. The three reasons he doesn't care for acting on the stage? 1. Too much work. Watched a video where a grandmother was getting what - she thought - was an IPhone, and was not happy about it. As she opens the package, she says, "The problem is really that I am not equipped to handle this", and when she said that, it instantly struck me, "That's how I feel about almost everything". (The "phone" turned out to be made of chocolate - her grand-kids were "pranking" her - and she was delighted...and relieved.)
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