10:27 am - Saturday, Oct. 12, 2002
Secretarial Work

(In the middle of doing laundry right now. Tried, for the second time, to bleach my "unmentionables". I must be doing something wrong, though, because when I got that load out of the washer, I didn't see any difference. And all that happened last time was one off-white t-shirt came out looking somewhat mottled. But anyway...)

I've been thinking a lot about the movie Secretary since I saw it two weeks ago...

I think what I liked most about the movie--and I liked the movie a lot--was that it was something I'd never seen before; A movie that dealt with "abnormal" sexuality without making it either dark and disturbing, or ridiculous and comical. The movie has some fun with the subject matter, but it doesn't condescend to the characters. They're into what they're into, and it's not for everybody, but the movie doesn't imply that they're somehow less human than the rest of us because of it (It also made me realize that the only times I've heard about or read about or seen depictions about this sort of thing, it's something you get a prostitute to do for you, or else you take an ad in the personals. I've never seen it depicted as having any meaning, as being part of a relationship. It's just a kinky way to get your rocks off).

And I came away dazzled by Maggie Gyllenhaal. I think the movie works because she doesn't take one wrong step. She gives herself over to the role and the circumstances, and doesn't "wink at the audience" for a second (The movie doesn't condescend to her character, and she doesn't either). And while, objectively, she's somewhat plain, there's something there, something that shines through, something the camera picks up on, that makes her very loveable, and yes, sexy.

(I knew the movie was working for me when I felt sorry for her character when her boss quit calling her in to "correct her typos".)

The movie also made me think about my own sexuality...

I don't feel like I write about sex much in here (Certainly not as much as I think about it, anyway!).

Part of that is because, basically, I don't have a sex life (Analyzing why that's the case is the subject for another entry...). But another reason is a certain embarrassment; I didn't grow up in homes where sex was a topic of discussion. No one ever had "the talk" with me, that I recall, and I grew up in, and continue to live in, a society that has very conflicted and contradictory messages about sex.

(Just had to take a break while I got my three loads out of the dryer. It made me think two things--One being, "Why does it seem to take forever to fold and put away my clothes?", and the other being, "I'm really going to need a better wardrobe if I'm seriously going to do this commercial thing...")

Anyway, back to sex...

I don't see this becoming "Penthouse Forum" anytime soon, but I think the subject of "sex" should figure in here more, since it's such an integral part of my world (At least my interior world).

But--and I swear I'm not ducking anything here--the day has gotten away from me (They've got me going in two hours earlier than usual today, and it's thrown me off), and I've got to get that nap that keeps me from attacking surly customers while at work.

(Crap...I didn't even get to the subject of "How Can I Do Commercials When I've Bitched About Rampant Consumerism?". Well, next time...)

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