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2:20 pm - Thursday, Sept. 08, 2005
Breaking Into The Emergency Spam

Breaking Into The Emergency Spam

Weds 9/7/05 (7:28 p.m.)

I learned something important about myself today--I can’t make it through a whole can of Spam.

Before this afternoon, I’d assumed I could.

I don’t eat Spam, as a rule, but a young couple moved out of the building recently, leaving in the “giveaway area” a box of non-perishable food items, and amongst said items was a tin of Spam.

I was going to save it for an emergency–like being trapped in my apartment during an earthquake or riot (Newspaper Headline: “L.A. Man Survives For Three Days On Spam and Diet Coke”)–but found myself running out of food today, and feeling too lazy to go to the store, I broke into my “emergency Spam supply”, eating about three-quarters of the can before I stopped, feeling slightly queasy.


I hoped I’d be starting this entry with “I booked the TBS promo!”.

But if you were paying attention, you’ll notice I did not start this entry with “I booked the TBS promo!”.


While I shouldn’t have done it–He doesn’t need me bugging him about this shit--I called J.S. earlier this afternoon, saying I wanted to get a haircut tomorrow, but wanted to check with him first to make sure the “avail” was not still “outstanding” (I sort of assumed it wasn’t).

He emailed me back a short time later, reiterating that the “avail” dates were next Wednesday through Friday (I guess to suggest my negativity was premature), and said I should hold off on the haircut.

So there you are–I still don’t know.

I’d actually already worked out for myself that it was premature to assume I didn’t book the spot: In the weekly newsletter, which he usually sends out early Friday morning, J.S. often follows the list of people who booked jobs that week by saying, “A number of you are on avail for some great spots, and we’ll hope a lot of those turn into bookings...”. So clearly, sometimes when you’re ‘on avail’ for something, it can take a day or two for them to make a decision.


Didn’t do much of anything today, even though I’d told myself yesterday I should go out, so I wouldn’t spend the day obsessing about whether I was going to book this gig, or else being depressed that I didn’t.

I did check L.A. Casting a couple of times, and called Central a couple times as well, for extra work, but there was nothing.

I thought about calling John O., to see if he wanted to wanted to have lunch tomorrow, but I called him a couple of weeks ago and he never returned my call, so screw him (Actually, I’m thinking about emailing him after I finish this).

I read the current “Fall Preview” issue of Entertainment Weekly (Normally, I never buy the magazine, preferring instead the free website, but in light of my need to have a “library” of tv shows, I figured a night-by-night, “hard-copy” rundown of shows and their time-slots would be helpful).

I checked my email throughout the day, even though the only two regular correspondents I have already emailed me, and I actually owe them a return mail (This to me suggests “email addiction”: You check and check your email, then when you get something, you enjoy it for a second, then you’re immediately back to checking, anxious for that little “rush” you get from seeing an email in your box that isn’t junk).

Long story short, it’s been a very slow day...

Thurs 9/8/05 (1:17 p.m..)

Continuing to follow the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina...

I wish I had more money to give, that there was more I could offer.

And I’m frustrated, and downright angry, over the slow government response to the crisis. This wasn’t just a matter of people being “inconvenienced”: People died because help was too long in coming, not because they were blown away by the hurricane or drowned in the flood-waters, but because they were left to fend for themselves for the better part of a week afterwards.

There’s just no way that’s not wrong. There’s no acceptable answer to the question “Why the fuck did it take so long to get these people help?”, no response I can think of that’ll make me think “Oh well, that’s okay then...”

It’s the kind of thing where the more you see and hear, the angrier you get.


Got a notice from Actor’s Co-op that the casting director workshop this Saturday has been cancelled (Erika Silverman, the casting director in question, has developed some sort of emergency medical issue).

My reaction to that news indicates a creeping ambivalence about these workshops–I was disappointed, because I enjoy going to these things, and am hoping they’ll be the key to my “getting in the door” for tv and movie auditions, but at the same time, I found myself thinking “That’s $25 I’ll save this month...”.

They are undoubtedly a great thing for me to be doing right now, and I enjoy doing them. It’s me acting, getting out of the house, getting in front of casting people, and meeting other actors (“It’s all good”, as the young people say).

But the one big “downside” to them?


I’m spending, on average, $125-150 a month on these things, and that’s money I mostly don’t have, so it’s going on credit card bills I can’t pay down. And hopefully they’ll pay off somewhere down the road, but I have no idea how “far down the road” that payoff’s gonna be.

It would be nice if it came before I join the ranks of the homeless.


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