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11:32 am - Thurs 6.25.2009
Taking Stock

Taking Stock

I've been trying to take stock of "where I'm at" right now, physically and emotionally, and it's surprisingly hard.

Physically and emotionally, most of my attention lately has been on my sore face; After hurting for awhile, I went to the dentist Monday, thinking something was "off" with my bridge.

But turns out it was a sinus infection, the one I thought had come and gone a few weeks ago, causing all the swelling and pain (I'm hurting from just under my left cheekbone down to my teeth).

So I can't say I've been "happy", being as uncomfortable as I've been (And stressing out over the fact that my health insurance runs out on Tuesday), but now I am happy, or at least happier than I was, because I've got antibiotics and painkillers, and I've gotten them "just under the wire" of my health insurance going bye-bye.

And I'm really glad it was a sinus infection, and not a "failing root canal" that would have necessitated a trip to the oral surgeon.

The Doctor asked about my sleep apnea - which I'd basically given up doing anything about - and suggested, since I sleep best on my right side (According to the last sleep study I had), that I pin tennis balls to the back and left side of a t-shirt, to train me to stay on my right side.

Easy, low-tech, and best of all, cheap - Which makes me wonder "Why haven't I been doing this all along?".

(Cause I don't play tennis, maybe...?)

But anyway, I did that last night (Substituting a couple rubber balls for the prescribed tennis balls), and am trying to decide how I feel today.

I felt pretty good when I woke up (Often, I wake up feeling groggy and depressed, wondering why I even bothered to go to bed), and I definitely feel better than I did yesterday, when I felt like I'd been shot by a tranquilizer dart (And that if I lost consciousness, I was going to come to with a tag in my ear).

But I still could do with a nap before work this evening (I imagine it'll take a little time for my body to "get with the program" with this "stay on your right side" thing, so I'm prepared to wait a little while before expecting any big results).

Speaking of "work" - The big news at Weight Watchers these days is that we have a new computer system!

That's not something I typically have orgasms over - "A new computer system (Woo-hoo!)" - and often, it will set off my anxiety alarm (Cause I usually don't like new things).

But in this case...well, let's just say "it's about time" (We were still using dial-up, for goodness sakes!). I imagine it'll have its glitches and oddities, but overall, I think it's going to solve a lot of problems, and make things easier for members and workers.

I'm still wrestling with Weight Watchers, and my working there.

On the "plus" side, I like it (and I don't like "jobs" as a rule). It really motivates me to not gain weight, and sometimes, I actually feel like I'm doing some small amount of good in the world.

But there's "the money thing" - It doesn't look like Weight Watchers is ever going to turn into anything more than a low-paying part-time job (It was never going to be a "high-paying" job, but I went in assuming I'd at least be getting more hours than I have).

The other day I was thinking about my financial "plans".

I don't really have a "Plan A", "Plan B", and so on, but if I did, I think my "Plan A" would be...

To make a living wage from acting, and not have to work a regular job.

"Plan B":

To earn a living wage from a combination of acting work and Weight Watchers.

"Plan A" does not seem realistic (In the immediate future), and, right now, "Plan B" ain't happenin' either.

Unfortunately, the other "plans" that come to mind are pretty unappetizing - ranging from "work at something I hate" to "homelessness" to "slink back to Michigan in defeat" to "become a freelance hit-man".

But for now, I'm eating, I have a roof over my head, and I'm journaling, and it's a sunny day in Tinseltown.

So for now, I'm going to "call it good".


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