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6:04 pm - Weds 4/11/07 One of the things I�m working on in therapy is �behavior modification� (Because one of my �issues� is that I�ve put back all the weight I lost after last year�s surgery, and I�m unhappy with my body. And that�s an aspect of my appearance�unlike my hair, teeth, jawline, dark circles under my eyes, etc and so forth�that I can readily change). We�ve started with my beverages�For the last couple weeks, I�ve been limiting my glasses of apple juice& club soda to just two a day, marking it down on a daily calendar, and rewarding myself weekly for my good behavior (aj&cs not being �bad� in and of itself�it�s really quite refreshing--but drinking it constantly, as a substitute for the Diet Cokes I used to drink, is more sugar and calories than I need). When I saw Javier-my therapist-on Wednesday (We hadn�t seen each other in a few weeks, since we�d each had to cancel a session), I told him I was frustrated with myself, feeling I hadn�t accomplished much; all I was doing was exchanging aj&cs with more coffee, �Arnold Palmers� (iced tea and lemonade), etc. So the goal has changed�Only two �flavored drinks� a day, and water the rest of the time. And now the challenge begins. But so far, so good; I�m doing better at �keeping my eyes on the prize�, because now there is a prize (My first �reward� was a bit excessive�the season five box-set of The Shield�which is why it�s going to be the reward for a month of meeting my goal; Monday starts a new �cycle�). My reward can be a dvd, cd, or action figure (Shooting for something in the �$10-or-under� range). And it�s tricky�the �reward thing�-because it doesn�t work if it�s something too small (A stick of gum is not really a �reward�), but it can�t be so big it�s stressful or makes me feel guilty. So at this point, the cd/dvd/action figure prizes sound about right (And if I want something bigger than my �$10-or-under� weekly limit�like, say, a dvd or cd box set�I can save up �reward credits� for it). Right now, this �drinking less apple-juice-and-club-soda� hardly seems like a real �goal� to me. I mean, it is important, health/weight-wise, that I drink more water and less sugary stuff. But this feels like more of a �starter goal�, just to �get the process in motion�, to get me in the habit of thinking about what I�m doing (or not doing, as the case may be), monitoring it, and rewarding myself for success. The novel idea here is the idea of �rewarding myself�. I�ve always been more of a �punishing myself� kind-of-guy. But since that�s never actually �worked��cause if it had, I�d weigh 200 lbs, have a clean apartment, and probably be much further along in my career�why not try something new? Sun 4/8/07 (3:28 p.m.) (Doing a couple loads of laundry, to have both �work clothes� and the outfit I need for the Snickers callback tomorrow...) Yesterday, Kat (one of my ArcLight co-workers), told me she�d seen one of the Comcast promos on tv. I don�t know if that�s a �reservoir filler� or not�there won�t be any more money from that gig until and unless it runs more than 13 weeks (And/or they put it on the Internet)�but I did like that I continue to be a �presence�, however small, on television. Other people have seen the Propel commercial on tv a lot more than I have, but I did see it just last night, along with one of the �Bahamavention� commercials (Not mine, but it showed me that they are still running). I don�t know if I�ve already mentioned this or not�I might have just wrote about it in an email to Jane�but I ran into one of the �Gilmore Girls� casting people at ArcLight recently. She�s moved on from GG, but has a couple of pilots in the works, and said she�d �keep me in mind� (And yeah, I know that could have been just polite chit-chat, but since she�s the one who approached me, and not vice-versa, I�m going to assume she was sincere). I really want things to start happening theatrically...like, yesterday. So I�m �putting it out there��For the rest of the year, I�m going to make up for lost time by getting a load of auditions for really good co-star roles. I�m going to book at least five of them. And before year�s end, I�m going to have gotten my first guest-star auditions, and will have booked at least one of them. And all this while continuing to get busloads of commercial auditions, and booking a number of them as well. Late last year, I told myself 2007 was going to be �the year�, and I�m afraid I�m going to have to insist on that point. I�m feeling a rising stress/anxiety level lately, which comes from a number of things, both large and small, not being �attended to�. I�m having some �car issues� for example (My power steering has become manual). And I�ve been procrastinating on getting it into the shop, because I can�t be without a car, for one thing, but also because I don�t want to hear the bad news. But I need to "look on the sunny side"--At least I have the money at this point to deal with car problems. (END) For the past couple days, JS has been "The Bringer Of Glad Tidings" on an almost-hourly basis... Callbacks (For Snickers and Coldstone Creamery)turned into "Avails", and have now turned into a booking next week(For Coldstone--Snickers is starting to look like a no-go, though I haven't given up hope yet). He emailed me on Monday to say he'd sent a check out--He lets you know when a check's coming, and you're supposed to let him know when you get it--and when he called today, to tell me about Coldstone, he also said he'd just received "a bunch of checks" from Comcast for me. I thought this was strange; for some reason, he's sending the checks on to me, and I'll be mailing him his commission after I've received them (Usually, JS gets the initial check, or checks, takes his commission, then cuts me a check from the agency account). But anyway... This has the feeling of "found money", since I'm not sure what this "bunch of checks" is for, exactly. I thought the initial "session fees" in this case covered the first 13 weeks of the run, but maybe I was wrong. Or maybe they're going to run the three spots on the Internet, and this is the "Internet Usage" money (Or "New Media" money). In any case, it's money, and I wasn't expecting it. And added to my other spots that are running, and just booking Coldstone, that means that life is good.
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