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12:50 pm - Sat 6/4//05 I hadn't thought about how the computer was being shipped, or whether I'd have to sign for it, so when I laid down for a pre-work nap yesterday afternoon, and the phone rang a few minutes later, I ignored it (My answering machine picked up, but the person just hung up). Turned out, it was the UPS guy at the outside door...with my computer (Another reason I wasn't expecting my computer yesterday was that I'd gotten a confirmation email from Dell saying the computer had shipped the day before, and to expect it in 3-5 days. But anyway...) They'll be back for a 2nd try on Monday, somewhere between 10:30-2:30, so it's not the end of the world. But I was a little bummed, nevertheless. I've really been looking forward to getting this thing. I've printed out the Freenet setup procedure for Windows XP (With a lot of screen captures), so I'm expecting smooth sailing when the time comes. And Joe R. at work is going to help me out, by sending me links to free virus protection and popup blockers and such. So that's my current "Thing To Look Forward To" right now. In JS's last newsletter, he mentioned that a lot of people were "wigging out" over how dead it's been commercially. I'm pretty unhappy about the situation, to be sure, but I'm not "wigging out" to JS, because after all, what's he gonna do about it? In the email, he basically said, "Dont' make yourself crazy. Read a book. Do other things. Try to enjoy the 'down time'". And that makes sense to me. But what can I do that makes me feel good? What can I do that I'd really enjoy, and wouldn't just feel like I'm killing time? I am reading--I'm bouncing between Bel Canto and Acting In The Million Dollar Minute (A book on commercial acting)--and I'm looking forward to getting my computer, and I'm looking forward to Batman, and getting tapes from Caroline and Mark & Jane. But that's all just me keeping entertained, trying to stave off boredom. Get beyond that, and it's hard for me to not feel like time's a-wastin'. Cause I'm at Borders, and I'm not acting. And I'm alone. I'm not just a person who is tired all the time: I'm "Tired Guy". America's most useless superhero. At the dentist yesterday, I could hardly have been more depressed--They couldn't see what was wrong, they told me the cutoff age for my insurance paying part of the cost for braces is 19 (I only missed by 25 years), and since I want out of Borders, I don't even know how long I'll have the insurance I have. It's depressing that, even when I rouse myself from my torpor, I can't seem to be able to help myself. But I'll have to take this up later. I'm almost out of time here...
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