4:36 pm - Sun 9.28.2008
Weight Watchers #47

Sun (9:05 a.m.)

My meeting isn�t till 11:00 - the weigh-in starts at 10:30 - but I woke up early, so here I am, wondering what the "tale of the scale" is going to be this week (I�m guessing not as good as last week; if I lose big one week, I�ll typically have little or nothing happen the following week).

These days, most of my Weight Watchers-related thoughts have centered around actually working there (Which I�ll be addressing in my next �regular� entry).

But I�m also thinking about reaching my goal weight, which I'm assuming will happen within the next two or three weeks, and wondering how I�ll feel once I�m no longer trying to lose weight, and have accomplished what I set out to do.

I think, at this point, I understand the change I�ve made is a �lifestyle� change (The initial goal was "to lose weight"...but the ongoing goal will be "to keep it off"), so I�m not exactly worried that, once I hit 195 lbs, I�ll immediately start mainlining Doritos and Hostess Fruit Pies. I "invested in myself" this past year, and I'm not going to throw that out the window.

I'm not worried that I'm going to immediately "cut loose" when I hit my goal weight; I'm more worried about slowly, almost imperceptibly, backsliding into the behaviors that made me the big fat man I was just 11 short months ago.

Clearly, working at WW will help me avoid that (One of the big reasons I signed on to work there); having my "goal weight" be tied to my job will be a great motivator for "staying on track".

But beyond that - because, after all, I won�t be working at WW forever - It�s going to be important to remember, and hold onto, the good feeling I have, a good feeling that comes from looking better, feeling better, and knowing I stuck with a goal, accomplished it, and then, most importantly, made the change stick.

I find that sort of thing very easy to forget. It's always been too easy for me to quickly get used to a change in the "status quo" resulting from some positive step I've taken, eventually taking it for granted (Sometimes even becoming dismissive of it), while forgetting exactly what it took to attain it.

Well, with today's weigh-in, I hoped I'd lose a pound, expected to lose a fraction-of-a-pound, and feared I might gain a little bit.

But I did well - I lost another 1.6 lbs, which means I've scooted under the 200 lb bar; I'm now a 198-lb weakling (Which I'll take any day over being a 268-lb weakling).

This makes me wish I'd weighed myself more regularly in the past, because I have only a vague sense of my "weight trajectory" over the years.

But I can say this - the numbers have rarely gone down over time.

And never like this.

I'd guess I'd have to go back to my early/mid twenties to find a time I weighed less than 200 lbs.

Half a lifetime ago.

Probably the happiest thought I've had lately?

That "This is the way things are supposed to be..."; The new-and-improved "Slim Jim" is the way I want to move through the world (less "old and tired", and definitely lighter on my feet than "Fat Sack Of Crap Jim"). It's the way I want to present myself to people, and most importantly, the way I want to see myself.

And once again, it's gotten me thinking...

Now that I've shown myself exactly what I can do when I really want something, what's next?.

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