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9:40 am - Sat 12/21/02 (The following is an email I'm about to send to Mark Z. I finished it, then realized it said everything I would have wanted to say in here, pretty much. What can I say--I'm a lazy, lazy man.) Hi Mark-- Good to get a missive from one of the border countries of "Jimlandia"... I'm sorry to hear about your pinched nerve. It sounds very much not-fun, and since I share your hope of getting "significantly younger" at some point, I feel your pain...at least sympathetically. I hope you feel better on that front soon. Jane's probably shared my Leo news with you at this point (Speaking of "not-fun"). (Quick note--After a long time procrastinating, I finally took Leo to the vet on Wednesday. He'd lost a great deal of weight and wasn't eating, and I realized that if I held off any longer, he was maybe going to die. Anyway, he stayed overnight for tests and treatments, and I picked him up late Thursday afternoon.) When I went to pick him up, the vet said he had eaten while he was there, but be that as it may, he's not eating here at home. And he's pretty miserable, which is understandable--He doesn't feel good, he went through God-knows-what-all at the vet, and now he's got me tormenting him (I have to give him a prednisone pill once a day for a week, and two eyedroppers-full of clovamax, in addition to a nutritional supplement that he's supposed to like so much he'll lick off my fingers, which of course he doesn't). It's a pretty unhappy time for both of us. When I heard the initial estimate for his treatment (Which ended up being more, of course), I considered having him put down right then, but I couldn't do it, I think more out of how I would have felt about myself than any particular love for Leo. But I have made a couple decisions in light of recent developments; This is going to be the last huge vet bill I'm going to pay--the next time the situation comes up, only one of us will be coming back from the vet's office--and after Leo, there won't be anymore pets, at least not for the forseeable future (i.e. A future where I continue to have no money). I keep trying to tell myself that "It's just money", but this latest turn of events has made me feel bad on a multitude of levels--As a pet owner (I don't feel especially good at it), as a wage earner (In my time out here unexpected bills have tended to make me cry, because I feel like I'm never going to "get out from under"), and as someone who came out here to try and do something ($450 would have bought a lot of pictures, stamps, and manilla envelopes). Well, on Thursday I wasn't exactly in the best of spirits for tackling a construction project, but I'd told myself I was going to put the futon together, and actually, it was probably good to have something to take my mind off my other troubles. And it went all right, actually (The biggest deal was getting everything out of all its cardboard and plastic and twisty-ties, then setting up my "theater of operations". It might have helped to have someone to hand me things and hold things up and what-not, but I got it done, and I got it done pretty close to right--minus only one bolt, washer, lock washer, and nut on one side of the seat (I'm hoping it's a redundant system, and that I won't be a story on the local news--"Local Man Dies In Bizarre Futon Accident"). I put it into "couch formation" that night, but since I'm me, have had it in "bed formation" ever since. But I think it'll be good, because now I don't have to look like my bed is in the living room, should company come over. In addition, it'll be nice to have some place to read while sitting up, should I so desire (For whatever reason, I can't seem to read at my computer or my work table). In any case, thank you for my new furniture. Even as a "bed" in the living room, it makes the apartment look more like someplace I live and not just somewhere I'm crashing for the night. Not too much more news to report from here... Yesterday, I went with a group of work people to see The Two Towers. I wasn't thrilled at paying full-price, especially in light of recent financial setbacks, but this is maybe the third time there's been an opportunity to do something with people outside of work, so I felt I had to take it. I know you and Jane didn't think that much of the first movie, so it might be damning the new one with faint praise to say it's better than the first...but I think it is. I had a really good time, and was particularly impressed with "Gollum", a completely computer-generated character (I was about to say I might go back and see it again--at a matinee--but actually, I probably won't, since there's other things I want to see this season--Gangs of New York, Catch Me If You Can, and Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, amongst others--and as I might have mentioned before, I'm feeling majorly poor right about now. I have an audition today. I got the call yesterday; It's for a DV (digital video) short called Bar Noise. It doesn't pay, I don't think (Of course it doesn't, cause that would be a good thing), but if I got it, at least it would be something to do, and maybe the start of my getting a "reel" together, which would give me something to start sending to theatrical agents. Well, I think I'm going to close. I want to call the vet, to see if there's anything else I can do to get Leo to eat and/or feel better, then I'm going to try and lay down before heading out to this audition. I'm feeling pretty low-energy, even for me, so I think I'm going to just copy this email into Diaryland, since it says everything, pretty much, that I'd want to say in there anyway. Thanks again for the futon. I hope you're feeling better soon, and I'll look forward to hearing from you, when time and pinched nerves permit. Love, Jim
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