1:05 pm - Sun 3/28/04
Busy, busy day tomorrow...
Two commercial auditions in the morning, then a play audition, then work.
As I told Bill H. in an email, take "work" out of the picture, and it's pretty much "Jim's perfect L.A. day".
Unfortunately, work is very much in the picture, so that means 1)Being grateful that all this auditioning fits into my work schedule (The flip side is being annoyed or upset when auditions don't "fit into my work schedule", as if work is the number one thing in my life, with acting a distant second), and 2)Stressing over what happens if I actually get in this play I'm auditioning for
(In terms of work, commercials, driving/parking, etc).
All this sort of connects to something I've been thinking about...
It's basically Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway; I'm going to nurture the belief that I can deal, that I can handle whatever conflicts, frustrations, etc, that come my way as a result of trying to get what I want, of trying to make my life more meaningful, interesting, enjoyable, etc.
I'm not perfect, and nothing is ever going to be perfect in my life, so this tendency I have of not wanting to move until things can be "perfect" means never going anywhere, never having anything, and essentially, not having the life I want.
I'm an actor, I came out here to be an actor, so I need to just be an actor, and deal with that reality.
So Borders will have to "deal with that reality" as well. And if they can't, then as much as it would pain me, I'll have to get a job that can.
And if I have to drive around for an hour after rehearsal, trying to find a place to park in my neighborhood, then that's what I'll have to do.
It occurs to me that this will be pretty funny, if I build up this big head of steam, and don't get the part. But however this particular audition goes, the idea is sound--Basically, I need to really commit to my goals out here, and nurture a belief in myself that, whatever it takes, I can see it through.
I'm basically out of time here, but I wanted to take a moment to thank "Kookla" for the action figures that came as a huge surprise in yesterday's mail.
(I've sent you a thank you card, K, but I also wanted the world--or at least my Diaryland "readership"--to know of your kind gesture.)
Well, more later, but I'm out of time. Work beckons (Have I mentioned lately how much I want to just be acting out here...?)
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