Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

11:17 PM - Fri 9.05.14
The "Antidote"

The Antidote

I'm very good at worrying.

In fact, I think it's what I'm best at (With acting coming in a distant second).

For example: I started worrying about the emotional "crash" I was going to experience after my Chicago trip while I was still in Chicago (Which makes sense - I mean, why wait for a fun experience to be over to be sad about it being over, when you can get a jump on your sadness while the fun is still going on?).

I worried about "crashing" after I shot my scene that Tuesday.

I worried about it after getting back from the party at Joan Cusack's house.

I worried about it before my driver picked me up at the hotel, and on my flight home (Yes, even as I enjoyed my beverages, my meal, and my in-flight entertainment, I worried - I'm just that good at it).

And the only "antidote" I could think of, the only thing I thought might nip that "crash" in the bud, would be if I were to get back in town, and immediately get a bunch of auditions.

And happily, that's exactly what's happened.

(I think it's very important to take note of when the Universe gives me exactly what I ask for, and in pretty quick order.)

Sat 9/6/14 (3:42 pm)

(Just finished watching a documentary on Netflix called The Unbelievers, which follows Richard Dawkins and Lawrence Krauss around the world as they promote science and secular thought. I was inspired, and only regret that I wasn't exposed to this line-of-thought at a formative age, instead of being handed a set of debilitating religious beliefs it's taken decades to get over. But anyway...)

As I was saying, I was hoping for a burst of auditions upon arriving back in LA, and that's what I got; since being back, I've had three commercial auditions, and two movie auditions.

The commercial auditions were fun, but, as of this writing, I've only gotten a callback for one of the three, and it doesn't look like it "went my way".

But while I always want commercials to happen - and I still would love to book a national before the year is out - the bigger, more exciting news, in my mind, are the movie auditions, because, 13 years down the road, movies still haven't "happened" for me, and I really want them to.

One thing the movie auditions demonstrate, in my mind, is how smart a move it was to go to Clear Talent; first, they very quickly got me a $250-an-episode raise for Shameless, and now they've gotten me back-to-back movie auditions (And for movies I wouldn't be ashamed to actually be in. Movies that wouldn't just add to my bank account, but that might actually further my career).

Yesterday, I auditioned for a Western starring Woody Harrelson and Liam Hemsworth, and on Monday, I'm auditioning for the new Coen Brothers movie.

It would be a tough call as to which movie I'd rather do, given the chance - I'm a big fan of Woody Harrelson (And that movie would provide me with more to do, and likely be a bigger payday), but the Coen Brothers are maybe as good as it gets for contemporary American filmmakers - but the fact that these things are even coming up at opportunities is very exciting.

And that of course, causes me to fear the "crash" that will come if these auditions come-and-go, and I don't book one of them.

And clearly, the antidote to that worry will be "more auditions".

(And on it goes...)


previous - next

0 comments so far
about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!