12:14 pm - Fri 3/11/05
A Little \"Backed-Up\"

Tues 3/8/05 (11:43 a.m.)

Some needed perspective, regarding my current state of "fiscal anxiety":

1. I am not bouncing checks.
2. I am not going hungry.
3. I am not being evicted.

I fear these things, but as of now, they are not happening.

Actually, at this writing, I even have a small--very small--savings account. Not enough to cover my rent, but enough to buy groceries for a month, or pay some bills, if it came to that.

I'm just letting myself get stressed out so I can revel in feeling bad, in the event the worst doesn't actually come to pass (Cause really, it usually doesn't). After all, I wouldn't want to miss out on any opportunity to put myself through the ringer, just because things are probably going to work out in the end.

And when I whine, whimper, and complain about money, I don't mean to come off as holding my hat out for donations. Far as I know, nobody who reads this journal is in a position to become my "wealthy benefactor" (Though if you are, this would be a good time to come out of hiding). I'm just expressing my unhappy, impoverished little "Poor Jim" thoughts, is all.

(Warning: Scatological Material Ahead)

In the last hour or so of work last night, I went into the bathroom, intending to enjoy some quiet time with my thoughts.

When I opened the stall door, I saw what was, I swear, the biggest unflushed load I've ever seen in a toilet bowl.

And it wasn't just the volume that was so amazing�There was one gigantic turd, in particular that was easily the size of my forearm, both in length and circumfrence, coming out of the water like the friggin' Loch Ness Monster.

I know it's gross to write about it in here, but I have to. Have you ever had a mind-boggling experience where you think to yourself, "This can't be happening. I can't be seeing what I think I'm seeing"?

Well, this was one of those experiences for me. I mean, what was in that toilet couldn't have been there. And it certainly couldn't have been of human origin.

And yet, there it was.

(I'm not a religious man, but there's still a part of me that thinks Satan might have dropped by our store last night, just long enough to take a dump in the men's restroom.)

And it's at times like this that management truly earns their big managerial salaries: I told Tim G. about the monster load in the restroom, and he took care of it (Sadly, it was Tim's second "feces-related emergency" in two days�Just the day before, he'd had to kick a homeless person out when the guy had a rather...explosive movement that ended up everywhere but in the toilet).

If I go on about this in an unseemly way, it's only because there's a point, which is this�Some pretty repugnant shit goes on at the bookstore.

And I'm grateful that, when it does, nobody comes up and says, "Jim, someone just pooped on the floor in the men's bathroom. Could you clean that up, please?" (And yes, if you're wondering, people have pooped on our bathroom floor. More than once).

Weds 3/9/05 (11:33 a.m.)

Well, this strikes me as one of the dumber things I've ever heard�John C. got himself fired today, one week before he was due to leave anyway (To help care for his ailing father in Florida).

(John has called out a lot, and when he called out today, I guess that was his "final occurrence". But anyway...)

It seems a bit picayune to fire the guy a week before he's supposed to leave anyway, but it's also pretty ridiculous to have "Short Timer's Syndrome" so bad you lose a week's pay and throw four or five years of work out the window (Not that you would necessarily want to go back to Borders, but why burn that bridge?).

(From back when John O. was the H.R. manager, I learned that Borders management is pretty close-mouthed as to what they'll say when someone calls about a former employee, but when asked if that employee would be "re-hirable", they will say yes or no. And now, of course, John C. would be a pretty definite "no".)

Fri 3/11/05 (11:03 a.m.)

Well, some good news�I got another Jack-In-The-Box check on Wednesday! Nothing huge�$367 and change�but certainly better than a poke in the eye. Something that'll take that 1,000 pound weight off my chest for a while.

The pay stub says it's a "holding fee" (As opposed to a "re-use", or residual check). Which I guess means that even if your commercial isn't airing, during the time you're under contract�and can't do another fast-food commercial�they have to pay you something (If any SAG people are reading this, and can either confirm or correct what I'm saying, please let me know).

I hope I'm thinking along the right lines, anyway, cause that means I'd be making at least some money off this thing from now till August of �06. And that would be a good thing.

A very good thing.

I'm actually not quite done yet�I need to buy another wrench to hold the nut in place while I screw in the bolt that connects the backrest to the frame�and I seem to have a lot of "extra" washers (Oops!), but the frame seems sturdy, the leg extension attachement is attached and extending, and it was accomplished with a minimum of cursing and crying.

Now all that remains is to finish the job, and actually start using the thing.

They were close enough to my apartment, and far enough apart (In terms of auditions times), that I could ride my bike, dress for each audition was "casual", so I didn't have to worry about sweating through dress clothes, and it was an absolutely perfect day, weather-wise.

And the second audition of the day�The one for AARP�was about a block away from the place where I ordered my new headshots. So when I was done, I was able to grab those and stick them in my backpack on the way home.

If I could choose which gig I'd most like to book, it would be AARP (It was a cute spot, it would get a lot of air play, and it was SAG), but that's not really the point I want to make here.

I feel like I'm unhappy a lot. I'm frustrated or bored or depressed or what-have-you, and I complain about it to the point where even I sometimes get annoyed with myself.

But I need to remind myself, by writing about it in here, that there are days like Wednesday, where things go about as well as they possibly could, times when I don't have that "Why does everything have to be such a big pain-in-the-ass?" feeling.

(And to end on an even more positive note�Called JS, to let him know I got the "Jack" check, and he confirmed that yes, they do have to pay a "holding fee" every 13 weeks, or it breaks the contract. So I say a big "Woo-Hoo!" to that.)

Well, I could write more�Didn't even get to the notary stuff, or trying to lose weight, or some recent thoughts about acting I've been having�but I feel like this entry's gone on way past "long enough". And besides, I gotta sneak in a nap before running a few errands (Like depositing that check, for one thing!).

See ya...

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