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1:17 PM - Tues 02.28.23

The Best Me I Can Be

So what's going on...?

Well, in the way that matters most to me these days - and take a guess what way that would be - "I've got plenty of nothin'".

And contrary to the old song, nothing's not "plenty for me" (I'd kinda enjoy if I had "a little something" instead).

This month I've had a couple voiceover auditions - which is a nut that currently remains un-cracked - and zero theatrical or commercial auditions.

Now, this sad fact could dominate this entry, the way it's currently dominating my thoughts. But I'm going to content myself with saying "The current situation is making me sad and anxious" and move on.

(You're welcome.)

Another thing that's making me a little sad, though not as sad as I might be, is that Jane R. is heading back to Santa Fe on Tuesday.

The reason this is only making me a little sad is that we'll be seeing each other at the end of March, when we do the Berkeley Springs Film Festival (March 31 - April 2).

As of this writing, they haven't told us when Acting Like Nothing Is Wrong will be screening, which is something we're both very interested in knowing (Both of us have people in the vicinity, and we'd like to give them as much of a heads-up as possible).

Right now, to be honest, I'm more anxious than excited about it, which is kind of my way - Until we're there, I'm going to be nervous about getting there.

Once I'm there, on the other hand, I expect to enjoy myself.

Because what's not to enjoy? Based on my previous film-festival experiences, all I've gotta do is hang out with Jane, which I enjoy, maybe see some films, screen our film, do the Q&A afterward, graciously accept the kind words of the audience, then - fingers crossed! - accept our award when the time comes.

So far, it's been pretty fun - Tiring at times, but fun.

I'm also idly curious about one thing - Are they going to "play up" the fact that I'm a West Virginia boy? And whether they do or don't, will that have any impact on the audience?

(Guess I'll find out.)

Travel worries aside, something that will ease a good chunk of the stress I feel about doing film festivals is the successful IndieGoGo campaign Jane created for me.

One thing that's kind of tough when it comes to film festivals is the double-whammy of 1) FOMO on auditions while being out-of-town (And I did miss a commercial callback when we went to DocUtah), coupled with the drain on my finances film festivals entail.

So that shockingly successful campaign Jane put together for me will do loads to ease my worried mind, thus allowing me to be a happier, more effective spokesman for the film.

That's about it for the big happenings...

Beyond wanting auditions and film festivals to happen - though hopefully, not at the same time - I feel like what I'm mostly doing these days is trying to figure out what I can do to feel better about things.

Basically, I know I'm headed toward oblivion.

And I'm not happy about it, but it doesn't seem like there's much to do but hope the trip from here to there won't be too unpleasant.

So I'm medicating, and therapizing (Is that a word...?), and trying to figure out what I want the part of life I have some control over to look like.

And if I boiled it down to its "essence", what I'd like my life to look like is..."I'd like more quality time with others (And closer connections to people than I currently have), and I'd like my time alone to be more creatively/mentally/emotionally satisfying".

In short, I'd like to be "the best Me I can be".

But for now, I need a nap...

(Till next time...)



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