8:39 pm - Fri 8.28.2009
Life Beyond Acting?

I have an Internet problem.

The problem is I'm on the Internet all the time, to the exclusion of...well, to the exclusion of whatever I'd be doing if I weren't on the Internet all the time.

I don't read books anymore.

I have a hard time getting work done (Like my comedy class writing, for example), because it doesn't provide the same immediate gratification as the Internet.

I don't even write in here as often or as well as I'd like, because constant distraction is just a mouse-click away.

And I've pretty much given up on human companionship, in part because it's so much easier to constantly cycle from Facebook to Twitter to Hotmail, and back again, than figure out how to establish actual, real-world relationships.

So anyway, I'm going to work on not being on the Internet so much (And yes, I realize I'm on the Internet right now - writing this - but you know what I mean).

(Giving myself another half-hour to say whatever-it-is I've got to say in here, then it's on to stand-up stuff, which definitely needs more attention than I've been giving it lately.)

Pretty sure at this point that my second audition for Three Rivers yesterday was another swing-and-a-miss.

But...

It was gratifying - after writing in here about how well the first audition had gone, and predicting I'd be back in their office before too long - to be back in their office the very next month, with the casting person making a point of telling me how impressed she'd been with my first audition.

(It's nice when, every so often, my normally skewed view of events actually synchs-up with reality.)

As I've said before, I never want to lose, but this one was a particularly tough loss, because 1) it was a nice little part, and 2) they're looking at it as a potentially recurring role.

So the bad news is that - in all likelihood - I didn't get it.

Which sucks.

But the good news is - I've been losing my mind for some time now over whether or not I'm making "progress" (And all too often, my answer to the "whether or not" question has been a depressed and defeated "not"), when the truth is, "progress" is happening right under my nose.

With Mad Men, I booked the sexiest gig of my career thus far, and realized my dream of booking a job on a show I actually watch (A "Through The Looking Glass" experience, as I've often referred to it - "I was a fan, and now here I am, on the show! How cool is this...?").

And with The Mentalist, I realized my desire to book a show on one of the major networks (And I suspect more people will see my bit on this show than have seen me in all my other co-star roles put together).

And beyond the relative "sexiness" of my recent bookings, I have had auditions within the past two months for two same-day guest stars, and two co-stars that were possibly recurring; all better roles than I've been up for in the past, which is the textbook definition of "making progress".

Now all I have to do is book one or two of these bad boys...

(I've gone into "over-time" here, but what the hell...!)

I'm feeling these days like a slightly-less carnivorous version of "Audrey II" from Little Shop Of Horrors - instead of human blood, I'm hungry for auditions.

("Feed me auditions...feed me all night long...")

Which brings me back to the thing I've been thinking about lately (And which was the main topic of my last session with Javier) - If I'm going to make life all about acting and auditions, and the gigs I book (Or don't book), I'm pretty much guaranteed to be a very bitter, very unhappy man. And by that, I mean an even more bitter and unhappy man than I am now.

There have to be other things for me in life beyond acting; I am an "Actor", to be sure, but I can't just be an "Actor".

Like right now, for example - I need to bring this to a close, so I can go work on being a stand-up comedian.

More later...

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