2:08 pm - Sun 3/31/.2013
Pretty sure I've mentioned, more than a few times, how I don't enjoy holidays, by-and-large.
I attach little to no emotional meaning to most holidays (And sadly, any "residual meaning" I do connect to a given holiday - mostly from childhood memories, since I don't have kids - just makes that holiday difficult, something I have to "deal with" emotionally, instead of something to be enjoyed).
I've developed a particular antipathy to Monday holidays; since I don't work on Mondays, the only "meaning" they have for me is that they're a day that's more inconvenient, a day wen I know I won't be getting a check in the mail, or a call about an audition. And these days, I struggle not to think that a day where those things can't happen is a day wasted.
But today is a perfect "holiday".
I have no particular happy childhood memories of Easter, so I don't care that I'm spending it alone, and it's not rendering a weekday null-and-void. All it means is I got to sleep in for a bit, and spend my day watching tv (And now doing this).
And, since I became full-time at Weight Watchers this past year, I get it as a paid holiday...and a "paid holiday" is a holiday I can get behind.
Easter does make me think about Christianity, and how I've noticed lately that, for a non-believer, I sure have some strong opinions on how Christians should and shouldn't behave.
I rejected Christianity a long time ago, mostly because the more I thought about it, the less sense it made.
On top of that, I find Christianity's loudest proponents, by and large, to be very unappetizing people, who claim to love their God while hating most of their fellow humans.
So who cares, right?
Well, I guess I do - I apparently have enough residual feeling for what Christianity is supposed to be to be offended when someone claims to believe in a God of love and kindness and peace, all the while loving their guns and blaming people who have less than they do for all society's ills.
So it's really the "Far Right" I have an issue with, more than "Christians", because these people aren't really Christians. They just wrap themselves in their own brand of faux-Christian "morality", which has little-to-nothing to do with Jesus Christ, but instead just supports their fears and prejudices.
This would all be kind of academic - I'm not a Christian, I don't hang out with a lot of Christians, and I'm not, as a rule, directly affected by the social issues the Right concerns themselves with (Immigration, Abortion, Gay marriage, etc) - but for the fact that I now have family and (Facebook) friends who are right-wing Christians.
I've never really had to navigate this sort of thing before - I tend to be "of like mind" with my friends on most issues - and when these hot-button issues have come up, I've sometimes struggled with my temper (Along with finding the whole business profoundly depressing).
I think part of my "issue" is that I'm annoyed by people who take "the high moral ground" when they're not entitled to it, by claiming their opinions have the weight of holy truth behind them, while all I have is my own "feeling" about what's right and wrong.
Mon 4/1/13 (11:07 am)
Just finished watching American Splendor (Which I recorded off HBO - Time-Warner had a free preview this weekend).
(Is this my American Splendor...?)
As last week began, I was kind of bummed, because the only thing on my calendar were a bunch of extra Weight Watchers shifts (Four extra meetings, and two extra open-hours shifts). And even though I could certainly use the extra money and meeting hours, I can't say I'm ever exactly happy my life in LA is dominated by Weight Watchers and not "acting stuff".
But some "acting stuff" happened, and I thought it was interesting...
I've been wondering when my 5th 3rd Bank commercial was going to start running, and early in the week, my friend Leslie H. told me on Facebook that her brother has seen it in Chicago.
Very shortly after that, another friend posted a link to it, so I actually got to see it (My judgement? I have some quibbles with my work, but on-the-whole, it's a pretty effective, fun spot).
It was something of a relief to know it's running, because that means I'll be getting some money from it - though I don't know exactly when, or how much - but beyond that, it just felt good, when things have been so slow the past couple months, to have something to show people.
And it was fun, to be able to post it and have people watch it and compliment me on it and such...but at the same time, underneath it all, it felt kind of empty.
In short, attention and praise is nice...but it ain't love.
I also had an audition on Thursday, for the Disney XD show Kickin' It.
I've auditioned for Disney shows a number of times now, but this time, the audition space seemed kind of makeshift - from the hallway, you could hear everyone who went in before you, clear as a bell - so based on what I'd heard, and how I perceived what happened "in the room", I thought my chances were pretty damned good.
(The "hearing the other actors" thing was interesting, in one respect - for twenty years of community theater, and probably high-school before that, I always heard the other actors auditioning, and for me, that was part of the fun. So I was digging hearing other people read, and judging them harshly. But to at least one of my fellow actors, it was very unnerving.)
Anyway, whether they went with one of the actors I had "judged harshly", or whether one of the guys after me rocked their world, or what, it doesn't look like I booked it.
And that's disappointing, because it was a cute bit and I know I did well...and I could certainly use the money.
But for what it's worth, I did leave that day feeling like I'd at least earned the "consolation price" of a return visit (I didn't originate this, but I think it's true - Your job as an actor isn't to "book the gig", but to rock the audition. Anything beyond that is "out of your hands".
Well, there's more I could write about, but it'll keep. I got up earlier than strictly necessary, and am even more tried than usual (Due to sinus troubles that won't quit), and I'm going to lie down for a spell...
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