1:45 pm - Mon 9/09/02
There are a few more things I wanted to mention about the audition Friday, then I'm going to "let it go"...
I forgot to mention, when I talked to Mark and Jane about the audition afterwards, that they offered to front me the money if I wanted to do it, and if it "wasn't too late" (I declined--I don't want to owe them more money at this point, especially not for something I think is a pretty "iffy" proposition--but it meant a great deal to me that they made the offer).
(When Cary and Kay were over yesterday--They were going to go downtown after Cary looked over my computer--Cary made the same offer; If something comes up and I need money in order to do it, and I want to do it, he's willing to help. Once again, I don't think this situation was the kind of thing that warranted hitting anyone up for a loan, but it's good to know I have people to go to in an emergency.)
The main thing I've had to do, in the days since the audition, is to remind myself that it's just one thing. It doesn't mean that everything sucks--Well, at least it doesn't mean that everything sucks any worse than it did before--and in spite of how I've been feeling, it's no reflection on me as an actor or a person.
It's just another, very minor, "bump in the road". And I think it's okay that I found it disappointing and maybe a little depressing, but it's no reason to despair.
Basically it's "back to Backstage"...
But beyond that, I have to continue to work on my appreciation of the everyday. To keep one hopeful eye on the future, but the other eye on the present, and what day-to-day life has to offer me.
(I really wish I'd gotten around to starting this earlier. The "pocket journal" is filled-to-bursting with potential little "topics". Oh well, maybe when I get home from work this evening...)
0 comments so far