5:45 pm - Sat 9/3/11
(I'm being vague because there were signs all around the set saying not to blog or text or basically in any way communicate anything about the show.)
Saying "I worked three days on a tv show" would seem to imply that I had a lot to do on said tv show.
My character is in two scenes, and originally, I only had lines in the first one (But I ended up being given a line to say right before we started shooting the second).
My first day, on Wednesday, was my longest - I had a call time at 7:45 am, and wrapped shortly before 3:00 pm.
That was a day of rehearsal, then a run-through in the afternoon for the network people.
On Thursday, they brought the cameras in, and scenes were blocked for the camera and shot.
My call was 3:00 pm that day, and I think I was dismissed around 8:00, having shot the first of my two scenes.
I was disappointed to have shot "my big scene" on Thursday, because I would have liked to do it in front of an audience yesterday.
My calls got later on each successive day - Yesterday my call was 6:00 pm - and again, I was disappointed when I saw on the schedule that my scene was an "insert", and the last scene scheduled (My things being the last scheduled made sense - Since I'm an adult, and they only involve two of the kids, they could wait).
I wasn't going to get to do anything in front of the live audience...which added to the sense of not really being "part of things" I struggled with while I was there (More on that momentarily).
But as it turned out, nobody was doing anything in front of a live audience; the director opted not to have a live audience, so Friday was basically Thursday redux, blocking and shooting more scenes.
That was my shortest day - There at 6:00, I was dismissed right before 9:00.
So how did I do?
I don't know, to be honest; it got done, and neither of my scenes seemed to take an inordinate amount of time to complete, but in terms of my performance?
I don't know.
There were physical things that felt awkward, but I didn't really feel like I was in a position to ask for time to work them out, so I had to do it "on the fly".
And - in part because I was given the line right before we started shooting the scene - I'm afraid that what I did in the second scene didn't really match up with the first scene (I was doing a "character voice", and I'm not sure it came out consistently).
And, like my last Shameless episode, I had a hard time getting to where I needed to be for the camera (Particularly with the second scene); they needed me to be further downstage at one point, and I was having a hard time making it work with the action they'd asked me to do (They finally had to move part of the set further downstage to basically herd me to where they needed me to be. I found that embarrassing).
But it struck me, once I got home, that "Whether you're being too hard on yourself, or whether you've got it exactly right, it's over and done with".
In tv terms, none of my days were "long days" (On the contrary, getting on and off a set in three hours, like I did yesterday, might be some new speed record), but because I spent the lion's share of my time not doing anything, the time weighed pretty heavy on my hands.
When I have a call, and spend the majority of my time just hanging out waiting for something to happen, all that waiting while everyone else is working reminds me that I'm just "visiting", and this isn't really my place.
Everyone I dealt with was quite nice, don't get me wrong (And it turned out the person who did my makeup yesterday had worked on I'm In The Band), but nobody really knew me, and I was only going to be there for a few days (At most).
I want to be "part of a thing", part of a group, and it's very difficult to feel that as a "day player".
As you might be gathering, this one, for whatever reason, was a little rough for me.
But I'm not asking anyone to feel too sorry for me - Yes, I left uncertain of the performance I gave, and I spent a fair portion of the past three days feeling bored and lonesome (Which kinda sucks when you're having the experience that's supposed to be your "dream").
But it's not lost on me at all that I was very well-compensated to be bored and lonesome and uncertain about how I was doing.
And it's my second time being cast in a Disney show, so I think it's been established that I'm an actor this casting director and these production people like, which means (hopefully) more work in the future.
(And on the "I'm afraid I'm becoming typecast" front, I am not playing a "sad sack" this time out. So when they call me in again, I'll know they know I can do more than look sad and sound like I've died inside.)
And even though I've made it clear my life's dream is not to entertain children, as I suggested in a previous entry, it's also become clear that I don't know what is or isn't going to come of what I do - For all I know, this experience could be pivotal in some way to my progress towards where I want to go.
We're creating a rich mosaic here...
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