4:02 pm - Thurs 7/12/07
Life As A Dialogue

Feeling a serious urge to "blog" today; I've written in MySpace, LiveJournal (Which I haven't updated since January), and now...well, here I am.

I guess I'm feeling hungry for connection of some sort. But anyway...

A lot to write about...

Was supposed to have a workshop last night, but the casting person--Heather Phillipsen--never showed (And never called), so after waiting a half-hour, we all left.

A group of us--Tammy, Sylvia, Molly, Keith, and Yours Truly--went to Miceli's, a rather corny Italian restaurant in the area that's basically the ACG "hangout".

It was fun--I like all the people mentioned, and I'm big on Italian food--and even though I felt like I didn't have much to say to anyone, I was able to put that aside, for the most part, and just enjoy being out amongst the humans.

(I have another workshop tonite. Hopefully, this time the person will actually show up.)

Was hoping yesterday I'd get a call from JS about a callback for Rozerem, so when my cell phone buzzed late in the afternoon, I was pretty happy (I was up for the part of a person not getting enough sleep. And if I'm not great casting for that role, what am I great casting for?).

But it wasn't JS. It was PMG, calling about an audition for a short film being cast by Peter Pappas, the CD who does Two And A Half Men (A show I don't actually like much, but nevertheless, a hit show, so what do I know?).

Sounds good, huh?

But, it was "SAG-deferred", meaning it doesn't pay. Which to be brutally honest, made me die inside, just a little bit (If I wanted to act for no money, I would have stayed in Lansing, and saved myself the trip out here).

Then Molly emailed me the script today, and the "part" was a security guard...with one line.

Not even a particularly good line.

Now, I've already suggested that I'm somewhat averse to doing things that don't pay. But I'm even more averse to doing things that don't pay...that aren't any better than the costar things I've booked that I have gotten paid for.

So anyway, eventually I spoke to Brett, and made it clear that if I'm going to do something that doesn't pay--something that might very well cost me money (When you think about missed time from work, and having to book out and potentially miss out on paid acting stuff)--it needs to be for an actual part, not for one line that any asshole could do.

Marion Cotillard, as Edith Piaf, was amazing.

The movie broke up the chronology of her life, which seemed more because that's the hip thing to do in movies now, instead of having any particular artistic purpose. The story of Edith Piaf's life is so interesting and full and tragic, and the central performance so amazing, that it didn't really need to be fucked around with, just so the director could think of himself as an artiste.

Anyway, non-linear chronology aside, see this movie, for one of the most amazing performances you'll see this year.

And if you're an artist/performer of any sort, it'll give you loads to think about as well.

It stirred me up, as you might imagine, since it deals with things I've spent my whole life thinking about.

Since I just wrote about acting as a desire to "escape", I couldn't help notice that Piaf, like so many artists before and after, couldn't escape her past at all (I don't think being drug-addicted and dead at 47, looking like you're 87, qualifies as "escaping your past").

A very enjoyable, rather freewheeling conversation.

While I wouldn't want to bother him every day, and be a drag on his time and energy, I need to communicate with Cary more, because that's a big thing I'm missing in my life--Someone to talk to.

Not just to bitch about my life, but to share thoughts, and get someone else's perspective on life.

To just, quite simply, not feel so alone.

To get to experience life as a dialogue, and not a monologue.

But speaking of "dialogue", I've got to get ready for tonite's workshop...

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