2:27 pm - Monday, Jan. 30, 2006
Working \"The Dome\"

Mon 1/30/06 (10:46 a.m.)

Feeling a little regret/remorse over my last entry�I do every time I reveal too much of my �down side��but I�ll get over it.

Last night at work, I had a short shift in �The Dome�, working the snack bar. It was very slow, because Annapolis, the movie playing there, is turning out to be a major dud (Audiences in the low double-digits look pretty sad in a theater that seats 826).

(I�ve seen maybe a half-hour or so of the movie�Starring James Franco--watching it during breaks; it�s not really terrible, it just doesn�t have much reason to exist. It�s basically a very bland hybrid of Top Gun and Officer And A Gentleman.)

It was a nice night, screwing around, chatting with coworkers, waiting on the occasional �guest�.
Not the kind of night that makes the bosses happy, I wouldn�t think, but to my way of thinking, it somewhat �balanced out� the day before, when I was so unhappy and frustrated (At the Zone 2 snack bar) that I started having the urge to hit myself (Something I will do sometimes when I�m highly agitated. Though so far, I�ve managed to refrain from doing it in public).

And at the end of the night last night�I was done at 11:30�Keisha, who was closing, gave me a couple hotdogs and sausage baguettes to take home (We�re not supposed to take stuff, even if it�s the last set and it�s going to be �wasted�. It was the same deal at the bookstore, with the cafe, and it�s taken me this long to figure out why management would give a rat�s ass�If they said it was okay to take home food that was otherwise going to be thrown away, then people might over-stock things on purpose, hoping they�d be �wasted� at the end of the night. That�s the best rationale I can up with, anyway, for why a company would have a policy that it�s better to throw perfectly good food in the garbage than give it to your underpaid employees).

(I gave one of the sausage baguettes to a homeless guy on the way home. He seemed happy to get it.)

My last paycheck, this past Thursday, was $406 and change, for 60 hours (For the record, that�s five hours less than a comparable check at Borders would have been. Though without any of the payroll deductions I had at Borders�heath insurance, dental, 401K�it�s about the same amount of take-home). I worked six hours this past Wednesday, typically a day off, but I think that�ll be on the next paycheck.

This whole thing�s got me wondering if I need to rethink that �Not wanting to make myself available for six days a week� policy...

It�s also got me wondering if I need to maybe look into going back to Borders (Not my old Borders; the one down the block from the theater). I kinda/sorta/really don�t want to�Actually, forget �kinda� and �sorta�. I just really don�t want to- but maybe it�s �any port in a storm� time.

(What I�m thinking is that I could make myself available to work there weekday nights and Sunday during the day�I�d want to have Saturdays off for casting workshops�and be available to the theater weekend evenings; I�d want to continue at the theater, because in addition to needing the money, now that I can see movies for free, I really don�t want to give that up.)

(12:59 pm)

Just got back from depositing my check at Wells Fargo (Found a dollar on the way home, which is now resting comfortably in my wallet).

I�m hoping the rest of my work week will be fairly painless�I�m working in the Zone 2 snack bar tonite, from 6:00-11:30, then learning how to do Box Office from 6:00-11:00 tomorrow (Till now, my time at the theater has primarily alternated between ushering and snack bar).

I feel like I don�t want very much out of life right this minute�Just the ability to pay my rent and bills, a commercial audition and/or a casting workshop to feel hopeful about, a relatively easy time at the theater, and maybe something good to watch on television.

But beyond this minute, I want to work this year. I want to act.

I want to get more tv work (And I want it to actually air).

I want to book at least one film.

I want to book at least one national commercial.

And I want to get a theatrical agent. A good one.

And I want at least some of the work I get to be meaningful to me. To be something I can be proud of, that feels like I�m actually �acting�, and that helps me get more work.

I want to make enough money to pay back Mark & Jane, and Cary & Kay, to pay down my credit card bills, to pay for a gym membership at 24 Hour Fitness (Another good reason not to quit ArcLight altogether�they pay the initial startup fee), to pay for straightening my teeth, to afford to take an acting class and/or pay for more workshops/showcases, and to just provide me some �breathing room� where I don�t feel sick to my stomach when the rent comes due.

That�s what I want this year.

That, and a girlfriend.

I guess that's enough for now...

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