1:28 pm - Sat 7/13/02
A Double Dip of Disappointment

The phone woke me up at 7:30 this morning.

I wasn't happy.

But instead of the wrong number I assumed it would be, it was one of my apartment places calling back (Her explanation, when I expressed some displeasure over the early hour, is that she calls early to get people before they go to work. Whatever...).

She started asking me questions about myself, but before we got too far along in the process, I discovered the listing I'd responded to had been rented.

Two months ago.

(She had a one-bedroom available for $675, I think it was. Too much for my meagre budget.)

The fact that the website membership Cary purchased for me is leaving up listings months after they've been rented is very galling (The woman said she told them to take if off their list, and that she's had other problems with them in the past. I believe her too, since it can't be much fun to have people annoyed with her when they've wasted time responding to a long out-of-date listing).

That's one "dip" of the "double dip"...

The bigger "dip" actually happened yesterday...

At this writing, it looks like I just missed out on a possible union job, being a "photo double" on the movie I-Spy.

Cenex called me at home around 12:30 yesterday, leaving a message (Though I swear I was off the computer by that time, in case Garrett--Who I was going to hang out with--needed to call for directions, or just needed to be buzzed in once he got here). I wasn't expecting any calls, so I didn't check my voicemail (To be honest, I never even thought about it)--A little annoyed with myself on that front. I've got to remember to do that every time I get off the computer--and when Garrett got here, we left a few minutes later, to pick up my paycheck at the bookstore, and go to the movies.

Once at the bookstore, AJ told me that someone had called for "James Hoffmaster" a short time earlier, but AJ doesn't know my last name, it turns out, so he told whoever-it-was that "James Hoffmaster" didn't work there (When he hung up, another coworker said, "That's 'Jim', AJ...", information I wish the coworker had shared with AJ while AJ was still on the phone!).

So I hung out with Garrett, eating at the food court at the Beverly Center, and seeing Reign of Fire at the theater there (The movie was about what I expected; In other words, not too good. But to my surprise, Garrett, who has demonstrated a taste for crappy movies in the past, seemed even less enthusiastic about what we'd just seen than I was).

After an afternoon of fun with Garrett, I got home around 5:30, and that's when I finally checked my voicemail, and got the message that Cenex had called (It's the first time Cenex has ever called me about a job). And I found myself devoutly wishing I had checked my messages earlier, or that AJ had known my @#*!! last name, or that I had picked yesterday as the day I'd hang around home and do nothing, instead of Thursday (If I'd just been lounging around at home yesterday afternoon, I would undoubtedly have checked my messages at some point. I do that when I get bored).

Anyway, I called Cenex immediately, but they were gone for the day. I left a message, but since the job starts Monday (It's the first three days of the week, and the following Monday), and they aren't open on the weekend, and I'd have to have a talk with John O. before taking it anyway, since the coming week's schedule is already up, I think I've just missed out (I called today, hoping against hope that I was wrong about them being closed, but I just got the same voicemail message).

This is kind of painful (More than "kind of", really), but I just have to take the attitude that it "wasn't meant to happen" and try to learn something from it (Check your @$*!! voicemail, Jim!). But it's painful to consider what I might have just missed out on (If it was a union job, that would have been a nice piece of change, and would maybe even have made me "SAG Eligible" at the end of it).

Well, I was anxious about the conversation I was going to have to have with John O. anyway (The one where I imagine he says, "I want to help you Jim, but I have to think of the store first," and I say, "You're putting me in a difficult position, John. I don't want to put my job at risk, but I didn't come out here to work at Borders..."). When that conversation happens--and I feel like it's inevitable at some point--I'd like it to be over something bigger than a four-day gig being an extra (I'm not exactly sure what a "photo double" is. I'm guessing that I look enough like someone in the movie that they could have used me in far shots, or shot the back of my head, or something. Not a major acting challenge, but again, the money and the experience and the possible SAG credit would have been pretty nice. Insert "heavy sigh" here...).

But when I called Cary to talk about this, he said something that was encouraging; However this plays out, it's proof that there are things for me to do here. I was right for this, and I'll be right for other things.

I'm just disappointed, because for a wild, heady moment, this seemed like an almost instant reward for "putting it out there"; I'd said to myself very recently, "I need something really good to happen right about now", and even more specifically to the point, I told Garrett yesterday that I was anxious to put myself out there for paying gigs...and then it turns out a paying gig had almost fallen in my lap.

Oh well...

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