12:13 pm - Mon 7/22/02
Ups and Downs

Well, there's been another little setback...

I was very excited about an apartment that was going to be available next month, a "bachelor" three blocks away from where I live, with parking, for $500 a month.

I called about it late last week, but forgot to ask some fairly important questions--Are utilities paid? And what about pets?--things I sort of needed to know. So I called back this morning, and heard the phrase that's quickly become the bane of my apartment-hunting existence: "No pets".

I'd really been building up a head of steam about this beautiful new world I was going to enter--A magical realm where Jim would have his very own parking space--so I'm pretty disappointed (And there's something about it that feels ...unfair somehow. I guess it seems cruel, to basically forbid the people near society's bottom rung--because who else is going to be living in a "bachelor"?--to have the companionship and comfort of a pet.

But that said, I have to be honest; While I don't dislike Leo (My cat), for years I've felt like I basically made a mistake, a mistake I simply haven't been able to un-do; It turns out I'm not a "pet person". But what do you do once you've found that out?

I've probably "bonded" with Leo more than I realize (I know it will be "weird" when he dies), but I don't think I'm a person, temperamentally, that should have pets, and I'm not sure, in terms of what I've gotten out of the deal, that having a cat has been worth the expense, inconvenience, and now, the parking space (But while I may not be a "pet person", I'm not a monster, either; If I could have given Leo to someone, I would have in a heartbeat, but since that hasn't happened, I can't just drop him off at the pound because "I'm not a pet person" or because he's become "inconvenient". We're basically stuck with each other for the duration).

So anyway, I'm feeling at this point that I'm at my current location for at least another six months (I'm going to take one more pass at the apartment website, but the clock is seriously ticking here).

In more upbeat news...

I sent out four headshots today, for a play and three films (Three of the four things pay too. I'm very big on getting paid these days, since that's theoretically what this move to LA was all about).

(I have to fax a headshot and resume to another place that's doing 1776, a show I like quite a lot, and have done once before, years ago at Thunder Bay Theater in Alpena.)

I've determined for myself that the real focus needs to be on getting actual acting things to do; Sending out things to agents and the like at this point won't mean diddley since they don't know me and haven't seen me in anything. I need to either have someone see me perform live, or else start compiling a "reel" that I can show people.

And figuring out what I need to be doing and what I can put on the back burner feels good. I think one of my myriad "challenges" out here has been feeling overwhelmed by indecision about what to do first, so the fact that it's becoming a little more clear relieves at least some pressure.

Well, I had a pretty wretched night last night, so I have to lay down and try to get a little more rest before the excitement of another day at Borders.

See ya...

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