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9:15 a.m. - FRI 3.4.22

Time Wounds All Heels

Well, this has been the saddest week I've had in...I really don't know how long...

Yesterday was the first day since my cat Hamlet's passing on Sunday that I didn't cry at some point (I started to get choked up a couple of times, but each time was able to gather myself and continue the conversation I was engaged in).

I've been shocked by the depth of my sadness - I expected to be generically "sad", of course (this is not the first time I've lost a pet), but I really wasn't prepared for just how devastated I'd be.

And I think the element that has hit me most by surprise in this situation was just how much of a firewall against loneliness Hamlet was, particularly in the past couple years (With the Pandemic, and the loss of not one, but two "work families"). My regular "people contact" has been winnowed down, over time, basically to Jane R. when she's in town (She's currently in Santa Fe, until at least sometime in April), so that small, furry lifeform loomed pretty large in my life, even if I didn't completely realize it.

Friends have been kind, sending their condolences, and "The Janes" in my life have been especially thoughtful, as you might imagine - Jane R. is photoshopping and printing out a couple of my nicer pictures of him, and Jane Z. sent a decorative little pillow with a very Hamlet-esque, tuxedo-cat cover.

But all that said, at this point, I'm sensing we're past the "public grief" part of the program.

Because there's nothing anyone can do at this point.

As someone once said - was it Robert Frost? - "The only way 'round is through".

(And as the great Groucho Marx once said, "Time wounds all heels".)


It might have been nice this week if the Universe had "thrown me a bone" and given me a "win" on one of the auditions I've done recently...but no.

No "wins", no "bones", no nothing.

Because why would something nice happen?

Didn't even get an audition this week (For anything - No TV, no commercial, no voiceover, zip, zilch, nada).

(Though to be honest, I think an audition the first couple days this week would have felt like an imposition, because I really didn't feel like doing anything, other than laying in bed with the covers pulled over my head.)

(And I just took a break to email my new theatrical agent - i.e. "The guy who gets me TV auditions" - to say "thanks for all the auditions". I've had a number of Network auditions in particular, and for whatever reason, that wasn't happening with the last guy.)

I've been frustrated that not much has happened since Shameless (Booked two commercials last year...but got cut from one, and neither was exactly a big "acting showcase"). It's been especially frustrating because I feel like I've hit the last number of auditions pretty strong, but...nothing.

But as I said to Ralph in my email, "I'm confident that if you keep doing what you're doing, something's going to break my way soon".

And I kinda believe that.


My apartment has seemed less "homey" and more sad without Hamlet, so it's good that I'm getting out - I had lunch with some young fans yesterday, I'm going to see a matinee of "The Batman" in a little more than an hour, and I'm meeting up with my friend Josh tomorrow - but I know this "new normal" is going to take getting used to.

But life does go on - Not for Hamlet, obviously, but for Yours Truly.

At least for now.

(Till next time...)



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