11:44 AM - Thurs 3.24.16
`Strip-Clubs and "Face Lotteries"

Well, I ended up getting callbacks for both the commercials I wrote about in my last entry (The callbacks were a week ago Monday, at the same office, 20 minutes apart, which was nice).

Getting callbacks for both spots was gratifying, particularly because of my anxiety over whether the new "look" was going to "work" for me (They were also my first commercial callbacks of the year).

You remember how with the one I had to dance, while I dismissed the other one as a mere "face lottery"?

Well I booked the "face lottery" one.

The dancing one? Where I was going on about how I wanted to dance my best, but suspected they just wanted the standard "Hey, isn't it funny when old white guys try to dance?" routine? Well, at the callback, that was exactly what they wanted.

While I was disappointed - apparently, it's really important that the world knows I'm a good dancer - I did my best to give them what they seemed to be looking for...but no go (I have a feeling that, in this scenario, a guy confidently dancing badly trumps a guy - this guy, specifically - acting like he's confidently dancing badly. But who knows? It could have been anything - I just know I didn't book it).

Got put on "avail" for the "Face Lottery" one that Tuesday, then got confirmation I'd booked it the next day, while at work (That was fun).

Had the fitting on Saturday - leaving after my first WW meeting that morning - and the shoot was Sunday.

Frankly, I found the shoot a pretty dull affair - I was doing a very simple bit (I felt like I'd gone from a little acting at the initial audition, to even less acting at the callback, to no acting at all at the shoot), but my call was at 10 am and I didn't start shooting till mid-afternoon - and, to my horror, I was so bored and lonesome much of the time, I was actually missing being at WW.

But they fed me, and I enjoyed chatting for a time with the other actors (Particularly an attractive Asian actress I ended up having lunch with), even if I wasn't getting to act with any of them, so that was nice.

And of course, I was getting paid - the nice thing about shooting on Sunday (And this is at least the third time I've shot a commercial on a Sunday) is, per union rules, you get double-time for the day - and by "getting paid", I mean possibly, when all's said and done, making as much or more for the day as I'll make this year at WW.

But what can I say?

I want to act. I want it to be fun.

And I want people to see the finished product and be impressed ("Impressed" beyond just the fact - in the case of people who know me - that they're seeing me on TV).

So it's disappointing and kind of boring when I book something where I'm not really doing anything (Not to mention dealing with the "cognitive dissonance" of getting paid a ton of money to do nothing, when I normally get paid almost nothing to do work that actually has value).

But I guess just like anyone else who mostly likes what they do, sometimes work is just "work".

And I could certainly do worse than to sometimes get paid a lot of money to hang out, eat free food, be kind of bored, and eventually have people say, "Hey Jim! I saw you on TV the other day...!".

But I'm hoping the next booking - whatever it is, whenever it is - will give me some of the good feelings I didn't get this time out.

In a "lost draft" of this entry (Kinda hating my laptop these days), I'd written about how much "ego" is at work here - Like, wanting to be rewarded for being a good dancer (instead of having to pretend I'm not), or wanting my friends to see the things I do and think I'm really talented or funny or whatever.

Well, the "ego issues" continued on Sunday, as the Shameless episode with "The Scene" aired that night (Where I had to be part of an unorthodox group of male strippers).

I watched the scene by itself first, pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy the episode till I got that out-of-the-way.

I watched it, and while I wouldn't say it was "fun" to watch, I wasn't so upset I had to call my therapist to "talk me off the ledge" or anything (Like I did after actually shooting the scene).

I then went for a walk, got some groceries, then watched the whole episode.

Then I watched the scene a few more times.

One thing that amused me, in terms of "ego"?

On the day, at first I was messing up our little dance, because I was, I think, the only one wearing a thong, and we had a bit where we had our back to the crowd, sticking out our asses, and I was so embarrassed at being "on display", I was turning back around too fast (Before the other three guys).

Well, I'm pretty sure I corrected myself...but the completed scene uses one of the takes where I screwed up.

So it seems I just can't escape people wanting me to dance badly...!

But take my personal shame out of the equation, and watching the scene as dispassionately as I could, it clearly "works" - It's a party, and everyone looks like they're having a blast. It's a fun scene.

And since I wasn't having much "fun", let alone "having a blast", but instead wanted to be anywhere else on the planet, I pulled off some serious, major-league, capital-A "Acting" that day.

So "Yay!" me.

Not really done with my thoughts on "The Scene" (Like how "anticlimactic" it felt, for example, or what we shot that didn't make the final edit).

And I actually had a couple more auditions this month - my busiest month so far, actually - that I want to write about.

But with my propensity to lose entries on this laptop - like the previous draft of this entry, for example - and the fact I haven't "published" anything in awhile, I want get something out to my "tens of fans".

"See you on the flip-side"...whatever that means!

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