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12:40 pm - Sun 11/09/03 I'm hungry. Without going out to get groceries, and without elaborate preparation, I could eat... 1. Some sardines. 2. A can of fava beans (or "foul mudammas", which makes them sound even less appetizing). 3. A 25-cent microwave burrito. (We've elected to have the burrito; It's the best-tasting alternative, and it'll take the edge off my hunger, so I don't go nuts when I'm at the store. A burrito and a cup of instant coffee�"The Breakfast of Champions", at least if you're a Mexican bachelor.) Both the sardines and the "foul mudammas" are recent additions to the Hoffmaster training table. I bought them in a fit of inspiration after reading a "Time" magazine article on eating right (I was also not at my usual grocery store, since I'm trying not to break the grocery workers strike, so I might have been a little disoriented). In addition to their nutritional value, the sardines and beans have the added virtues of being cheap and easy to prepare (On the down side, I'm indifferent to sardines, and I don't like beans�at least I didn't back when I was five years old�but we're just "trying stuff out" here). I also bought a bag of "soup mix"�composed of green and yellow split peas, pearl barley (Didn't she die some years back?), rice, alphabet macaroni, and lentils�which looks like something you might buy at the pet store to promote your pet gerbil's good health and shiny coat; hopefully, it'll promote my good health and shiny coat as well. Just finished listening to Jerry Douglas, a dobro player Daniel C. thought I might enjoy (A "dobro" is a kind of guitar. That's about all I can tell you about that). The music reminded me of Ry Cooder, because it's "rootsy", and could easily be a soundtrack for some movie I've never seen (Ry Cooder has done a number of soundtracks for movies I've never seen, along with a few for movies I have seen, like Crossroads and Southern Comfort). Are you sensing I don't really have much to say here...? Sent out bills recently, and wasn't very happy with myself when I saw a number of them were late. I'm not going to beat myself up over it�I did that already (And I'm not kidding about that; a couple people at work asked about the mark just above my right cheekbone)�but am just going to say there's no excuse for this sort of shit, and move on. I also sent an all-too-rare check out to Mark and Jane, for the car (I've totally lost track of how much I've sent them and how much I still owe, but I think it's pretty safe to say I'm in no danger of over-paying them any time soon). Things are feeling very stagnant here, career-wise. I've had one audition through JS in the past five weeks, and it's really brought into focus how dependent I've become on those commercial auditions; they're about the only thing that makes me feel like something's actually happening here. For the past two weeks, Backstage has had nothing for me. It's never a big grab-bag of exciting, lucrative opportunities, but I've literally seen nothing for a "distinctive-looking" (yet oddly sexy), 40-something character actor like Yours Truly (In this land of young, beautful people, you'd be surprised at how many movies call for young, beautiful actors. Or maybe you wouldn't). So it seems like an odd time to have made this decision, but I re-subscribed to Backstage online. At $9.95 a month, it's actually cheaper than buying it at the newstand, but more importantly, I'm hoping it'll get me checking the listings and sending out headshots in a more timely fashion (The paper comes out on Wednesdays, the start of my "weekend", and the nearest place I can get it is a newstand about two miles away from my house). I have a few actor/casting websites bookmarked, which I need to get more systematic about checking. I'm very frustrated about the opportunities not available to me because I don't have a theatrical agent, but the fact is, a lot of people don't have theatrical agents here, yet they somehow manage to get things done, so I obviously need to do a better job of exploring the opportunities I do have. I have to go to the store. I don't want to do that. I have to do laundry. I don't want to do that either. But I also don't want to be stinky and hungry. (I think this is the textbook definition of "being on the horns of a dilemma".) (11:47 a.m.) Back from the grocery store. From the groceries I brought home, it's apparent I'm a man at war with himself. On the one hand, I bought more "foul mudhammas", sardines (and a tin of kippers), carrots, grapes, and apples; on the other, Oreos and frozen pizzas (The Oreos were on sale, two for $4.00. What could I do?). But enough of me and my foodstuffs... Kyle and Nick came in to the bookstore last night, with little Ellison Taylor Begley (Who came into the world Oct 21st, at 5:00 p.m.). I love children, but I find freshly minted babies kind of boring. They all sort of look the same to me, and they don't really seem to do much ( This one slept all the way through our first meeting); I start getting interested the more they start seeming like actual little people. And what'll be fun about this particular actual little person is that I'll probably get to hang around with him a little bit; I don't think Nick and Kyle fully understand yet what a bad influence I can be. But right now, I think I'm going to take a cue from young Ellison, and take a nap. Later on, party people...
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