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9:07 AM - Fri 1.14.22


Well, I have the better part of an hour before the places I need to go today open - I have a couple of "arty" chores (picking up portfolios at the art store, and taking my guitar to get re-strung at the music store) - so might as well do this in the meantime...

The big news today is Jane R. will be back in town by day's end - she's driving out with her husband Dick, who's spending a few days here before heading back to Santa Fe - and she'll be staying for a couple weeks (She'd stay longer, but she has medical stuff to attend to back home).

It'll be nice to have her back in LA - We've got some plans (To go to this place, to do that thing we haven't done in LA yet, etc), but I imagine most of the time we'll just be hanging out, which is what I like.

As I said on my podcast recently (If you're already one of my handful of listeners, you can skip this part), one thing she'll be doing without me that I'm very enthused about is meeting with Kimberly B., her producing partner for the documentary, about "the way forward", in terms of film festivals and what-all.l

There may be other "issues" I'm not aware of, but right now seems it's all about whether film festivals are going to be "live" or "virtual" (I guess there's an issue before that, which is "getting accepted into film festivals". But Jane has done the circuit a couple times now - this is her fourth film - so I imagine we'll get into our fair share).

For my own selfish reasons - I haven't waited years for the doc to come out in order to not have the film-festival experience - I want there to be live festivals to go to.

But beyond my desire to hang out at film festivals and do...whatever one does at film festivals, I want the film to have live showings with live people, both to see what we've got here and because it's hard to imagine "virtual" film-festivals having the same impact as the real thing, on either a general "audience", or on potential "decision-makers" who could give Jane money for the film.

Before now, my thoughts have honestly been mostly about me and Jane.

I'd like Jane to have the happy experience of cleaning up at film festivals (As I'm hoping will be the case) and at least making her money back on the film (If not making a profit, which frankly seems a tall order - by and large, my understanding is that documentaries don't typically make money. And until it starts being seen by people who have no investment in me or in Jane, I still don't know exactly what we have here).

And since I'm pretty sure this is the only documentary that's ever going to be made about me, I'd like to experience the film festival thing myself - It will be disappointing if "the film festival experience" ends up being Jane telling me the film is playing here and there and that she got this or that award in the mail (And there perhaps being a handful of "virtual" Q&As that no one can be bothered with).

And while I don't know exactly how the film will do me any personal good - beyond the good it's done already (i.e. becoming close with Jane) - it would be nice if it had some additional happy impact on my life/career (I guess if it became even a modest success, on the film festival circuit and - hopefully - beyond, just the publicity might help matters).

But what it does or doesn't do for the two of us personally is a secondary matter, a "side-benefit" of what it (hopefully) does for an audience/the viewer.

I don't think I can see the documentary with any objectivity - I mean, I have a general feeling that it's "good", that as a "character", I am not..."without appeal", but beyond that? I don't know...but I hope other people get more.



Last night I tasked myself with getting three chores done today - 1) Take my guitar in to get re-strung (Broke a string for the first time in forever recently, and decided it was a good time to replace the set), 2) Pick up the king-size portfolios I ordered from Blue Rooster that came in this past weekend, and 3) Take my cat Hamlet in for the vet visit I've been procrastinating about for a long time now.

Got #1 and 2 done this morning, and saved the worst for last.

I'm home right now, but he's actually still at the vet (A new one, closer to where I live - In part because I always hated the drive to Hollywood, with Hamlet in the cat carrier crying like he's being murdered. Also because I've been chafing for some time at calling my former vet's office on more than once occasion, being told the vet was with a patient "but will call you back when they're done" and getting no call - I also got their voicemail recently, during office hours, left a message saying I wanted to schedule an appointment, for what reason, when I was available, etc, and, once again, nothing. So, after taking three separate cats there over the course of the past twenty years, fuck them).

So anyway, an hour or so ago, I got out the cat-carrier, man-handled him into it, and went to the new vet place (This was around the same time I got a message from my theatrical agency - I have been released from my "pin" for a really nice guest-star on a network show. More on that in a bit...).

At the vet's office, I knew the news wasn't going to be good - the cat has been un-well for a while now (He was last at the previous vet in July, where they did some tests that didn't definitively say anything - The voicemail that was ignored was me finally getting aroud to following up) - and I was correct.

Tests and medications and what-all were over $1000, and his situation might still necessitate taking him somewhere for an ultrasound (or an MRI or something, I don't fucking know).

And after that, who knows...?

And I'm getting that sinking feeling I get at a time like this - I don't want to put him down, but I can't see myself spending thousands to chase whatever is going wrong, with no promise he's not just going to die anyway.

So, I don't know...If the tests determine it's something that can be addressed with medication, I'll try it, but if we're starting to talk about surgeries and special treatments and whatever the fuck...he might be a goner.

Not fun to be Hamlet right now...but not exactly a thrill to be me either - Getting told I didn't get the part I wanted more than I've wanted any part in recently memory (And wouldn't be making that guest-star money), coupled with a $1000 bill for the cat (With the almost-certain promise of more bills to come)...

In short, at the moment, FML

Till next time...



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