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9:10 pm - Sun 6/12/11
Secret To Happiness - Forget the Past

Secret to Happiness - Forget The Past

Didn't realize the Tonys were on tonight...

Considering the majority of my performing life has been doing theater, the Tonys have meant surprisingly little to me - I never had the money to see shows on Broadway (Or even the touring productions in Lansing or LA).

And as an actor, I quit seriously thinking about Broadway (particularly as a musical performer) when I 1) realized I didn't have professional-level chops (And lacked the money/means to develop them), and 2) started thinking more in terms of movies/television than the stage.

Tues 6/14/11 (10:01 pm)

...but watching some of the Tony Awards tonight made me feel nostalgic and a little sad, both for what once was - I miss community theater, and musical performing - and for "what might have been".


I've had one audition so far this month, which left me so depressed I'm still struggling with it.

Long story short, I don't like "Homeless Guy" auditions. If that's how casting people see me, it's depressingly dead-end casting - How many homeless characters do you see on TV who get major story-lines and screen time? - and besides that, I can't compete; each time I go in for one of those auditions, I see three or four guys who look like they came to the audition directly from Skid Row).

In any case...not expecting much to happen in the immediate future, at least not till the end of July or early August, which means the struggle to keep myself entertained and depression-free continues.

One of the ongoing disappointments of 2011 is that my Budweiser commercial clearly laid a big commercial egg, which means that I've pretty much gotten what I'm going to get from it, which amounts to "Not nearly as much as I was hoping to get".

And that's a big part of why I've been feeling a rising level of "fiscal anxiety"; Financially, if the commercial was having a good run, it wouldn't matter so much that I haven't booked anything this year but Jon Benjamin Has A Van, and that it'll probably be a couple months, at least, before things "heat up" again.

But there's nothing much to do but wait, and hope, and try to "keep the faith".


Weds 6/15/11 (8:10 am)

Starting to think one "secret to happiness" is "forgetting, as much as humanly possible, the past".

I could give a couple of examples of what I mean, but the one I'm thinking of in particular is how, at this point last year, I'd already booked for Castle and Parks & Recreation (Much "sexier" bookings to me than Jon Benjamin Has A Van).

And that fact is making the first half of 2011 seem pretty disappointing by comparison - I'm doing less well financially, I feel like I've accomplished less, and I'm going into the second half of the year "under the gun", if I'm thinking in terms of doing better than last year (My best year ever, at least in terms of the number of gigs I booked).

But last year was last year. And there isn't much sense in trying to gauge this year by last year; to put a positive spin on it, there's no reason to believe I won't book a record number of sexy acting jobs in the second half of the year (And it would be nice if at least one of those "sexy acting jobs" were a commercial that actually runs).

8:52 am

Had to break to get ready for work...

Not happy that entries that used to take me a couple hours are now being written over the course of a couple days (That's what happened when I discovered the "hibernate" option on my computer).

Anyway, there's a lot more for me to write about - and only a little of it having to do with acting - but I'm going to "close up shop" for now, and hopefully write the next entry later one sitting.


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