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12:44 PM - Thurs 6.11.20

Note To Self: No Point In Rushing If You're Just Gonna Fuck It Up

Under the heading of "Simple Pleasures" ...

For my birthday recently, Jane Z. bought me, among other things, a small personal fan and I have been getting a ton of use out of it (Earlier, I'd written how "Safer At Home" would pose a problem as the weather got warmer, because it meant either running the air-conditioner 24/7 or sweltering in my sweat-lodge of an apartment).

I was considering a fan but hadn't yet "pulled the trigger" - Since I don't work at Weight Watchers anymore, a trip to Target or Best Buy is now a "chore", instead of just a quick stop after work (Beyond that, I was afraid a fan would be defeated by my 3rd-floor apartment's lack of cross-ventilation).

(Am considering getting another one - It really needs to be about two feet from my face on full-blast to do the trick - but for now, I'm just taking it to where I need it.)


Getting another piece of mail from Unemployment today.

I continue, on some level, to be nervous about "messing up". But "so far so good", it seems. And as I think I've said before, from my conversations with other friends who've filed (Some of whom have actually spoken to Unemployment personnel) there's a sense that, as long as you're not trying to defraud them, you're good.

(I felt like I made a mess of my first "application for continuing benefits" form, but did my best to honestly report my income during that time.)

Don't know what I'll be getting today; can't imagine it's money (Going back to the "continuing benefits" form, I made more from Cameos and residuals during that period than I'll be getting from Unemployment) but I suppose it could be the debit card they'll be putting the money on, with a description of how it works (For Direct Deposits, for one example).

(Or else it'll be them saying, "You fucked up - Do it over!".)


(5:00 pm)

Just went downstairs to pick up that mail from Unemployment, and it was exactly what I was afraid it might be - I fucked up the last form and they're making me do it over.

I'm not happy with myself - I knew it was wrong when I sent it out (Because I rushed it out like I was on deadline, for some reason) - but at least I have money in the bank, and I know what I did wrong (I think.), so I'm going to try not to beat myself up over it, figuratively or literally).

Just got off the phone with Mark and Jane a short time ago (Which is why I didn't check the mail till just now). Worried that I wouldn't have much to say and/or would just be "mopey", but it was fine - We had a nice conversation that lasted about as long as they usually do (Actually, a little longer I think).

Right before they called, I got an email from my theatrical agent - Not an audition, sadly, but passing on an inquiry from a publicist, wanting to know if I'd be interested in their services.

And I might be, if I had a day job and knew that the last season Shameless was gonna be a thing (Or even if Unemployment were actually happening, instead of being this long preamble it feels like I'm never gonna finish).

But a publicist could be helpful, as the documentary becomes a thing, I try to make the podcast in particular and my Internet presence in general become a thing, and as I attempt to have a career after Shameless.

So I'm going to inquire as to what exactly they do and how much they'd want from me in order to do it. And probably be a little depressed about the whole thing.

But might as well ask.


My car died recently.

Was hoping it just was the battery needing a jump.

But turned out it was the battery needing to be replaced.

Not the biggest of big deals...except that I'm afraid I've spent $145 on a new battery for a car I've already killed by ignoring a leak of some sort for a very long time. (Pre-pandemic).

But, for the moment at least, I have a working car. Which would be neither here nor there - Cause where have I had to go lately? (I've actually wondered if I need a car at all at this point.) - but which is now important because I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.

I have a mystery pain in my right calf that has developed while I've been "Safer At Hom" and it doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

It's worrisome, both for the "doesn't seem to be going anywhere" part and the "mystery" part (It's not what you would think of as "normal" calf pain, as if you strained the muscle somehow - There are basically two "hot spots", one hotter than the other, and the area under the "hotter" hot spot is hard.

At first I thought it was weird that I was experiencing this weird leg pain when I've been using my legs quite a bit less than usual...but then I started wondering whether that's the problem, that I'm sitting and/or lying down even more than usual these days and my body is rebelling against the inactivity.

Who knows?

Well, I could go on, but as of now, I have a Cameo, a voiceover audition, I have to redo the unemployment form, and I have to get up earlier than I've had to get up for the past two months or so to go to the doctor tomorrow.

So, I got some shit to do.

Till next time...


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