10:20 PM - 06.07.19
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If I'd started this entry first thing this morning, the "top story" would have been my upcoming trip to Michigan (I leave on Saturday).

And of course, that's still a big deal.

But around mid-morning, I received an email inviting me to a Shameless cast party.

Not a "wrap party" at the conclusion of a season - It's the wrong time of year for that and I've been to a bunch of those now (Along with the "100 Episodes" gala) -but a "cast party".

Or I should say, the cast party; Macy hosts a party for the regular cast every year, and I have never been invited before (In the past, said parties often seem to have taken the form of premiere episode "viewing parties". But whatever you want to call them, I've never been invited to any party with the regulars at Macy's place. Because I am not a regular; if the regulars are the Shameless "nuclear family", I'm basically a great uncle or third cousin that occasionally visits)

When I first got notice of the email on my phone, I was confused (Because of the aforementioned never being invited before), then quickly annoyed, presuming the party would happen smack dab in the middle of my Michigan shooting...but, happily, it does not (It's the day after I get back).

(9:18 pm)

So anyway, being invited to a Shameless "cast party" made me pretty happy today - In a word, it feels nice to be included.

The other big news, of course, is that I'm leaving for Michigan on Saturday, for a week-and-a-half of shooting.

During our last shoot here in LA, I was sick, which troubled me a great deal, from both the standpoint of feeling bad and being "low-energy", and from what I felt were the disturbing "implications"; I've gotten sick, or had cold-sore breakouts, three times now timed around our shoots, which has me deeply concerned over what seems to be a very "compromised" immune system - If all it takes for me to get sick now is a weekend out of town, or a change of routine for a week or so, how the fuck am I gonna handle it if/when I get a real acting role? If Shameless actually wanted to make me a regular?

I didn't now exactly what was wrong with me - It didn't seem to be a garden-variety cold (The main feature, for me, was a sore throat and an extremely persistent, mostly non-productive cough. But I was also lightly-feverish - never quite had chills, but I was "in the neighborhood" a couple times) - but it would have been just unthinkable to tell Jane, "Hey, I know you're spending all this time and money to do this, but I'm gonna be sitting this one out cause I don't feel good.".

So I spent a lot of time with her - mostly just hanging out, to be honest (As I've said before, the shoot was light-duty in terms of them actually needing me. And when Jane did record some audio with me, she didn't end up liking it because I sounded "sick").

And we enjoyed ourselves, at least as much as we could when one of us was wrapped in a blanket, feeling by turns, guilty for being sick and lightly sorry for himself for being sick (To be honest, in addition to feeling like it was "my duty" to show up even if I wasn't feeling good, it was also nice having someone "fuss over me" a little - I don't get that most times when I'm sick).

But then I got her sick.Which made me wish I had said, "I'm sorry, but I'm gonna sit this one out...".

She recently went to an urgent-care, and found out we have the flu (It's been over a week now, and I still have a little bit of the cough and sore throat - the cough being especially problematic when laying myself down to sleep - while Jane is currently experiencing, thanks to Yours Truly, "peak flu-ness").

Hoping she's going to at least be over the worst of it by the weekend - Hate to think of her having to fly feeling like she does (I think it's hitting her worse than it hit me, and it hasn't exactly been the time of my life) - but I'd rather she be over it altogether; don't like the thought of her having to deal with all this while sick...and selfishly, I want us to be able to have fun together "doing the thing".

Jane has said a couple times that we're basically "on the downward slope" in terms of shooting; there's Michigan, probably another trip to LA, maybe a trip to West Virginia...and beyond whatever pickups David - our editor - says she needs, and that's probably it.

Fri 6/7/8 (10:20 pm)

Heading to Michigan tomorrow...

I really wish I felt better; I'm not as sick as I was but I've now been "not as sick as I was" at least as long as I was full-on sick (And if anything, my throat is more sore today than it was yesterday. And the cough seems to be coming back).

It's been awhile since I've been sick and just had it go on and on like this. It's very worrisome, both because I don't want to be sick going into this shoot and because it worries me about the state of my health in general.

But one way or another, this is happening. And while, to be honest, I'm kinda wishing it weren't happening - I just don't feel like doing anything - I know I'm going to enjoy seeing Mark and Jane and my other friends, and doing the stuff we're set to do (ex. Meeting Jane's grandson Jackson. And we're going to Durand next Friday, and I don't think I've seen Durand since I graduated high school).

Well, this doesn't feel like much of an entry - did I mention I just don't feel like doing anything? - but it's the entry I've got (Shouldn't even be doing this ,really - I've barely packed anything yet).

So, till next time...

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