3:23 pm - Friday, Mar. 31, 2006
Lock Up Your Grandmothers

Mon 3/27/06

A military expert commenting on the �debacle� in Iraq.

I don�t know about you, but when the guys who wage war for a living declare Iraq a �debacle�, I tend to believe them.

I'm sorry to say I can't read my friend Jim's journal any more. I just had to give it up. Too many times it made me feel hopelessly sad for him or irratated (sic) with his outlook. I need to focus on things that cheer me up, not bring me down. I have enough of my own problems to deal with.

Being a sensitive lad�Maybe even an overly-sensitive lad-- I went through some...changes when �Reader X� first emailed me with this decision.

Of my emotional �buttons�, maybe the biggest is my fear that if you really knew me, you�d reject me (�Childhood trauma�, blah blah blah, etc. and so forth).

A fear of rejection �if you really knew me�, if you think about it, makes keeping an online journal either 1) really brave, or 2) really masochistic. Or both.

But anyway...

I was initially upset, because I want everyone who reads my journal to keep reading my journal and think I�m a really cool guy and all that, but then it hit me�In the basic scheme of things, who the $@#! cares?

It�s just a journal, after all.

Weds 3/29/06 (11:37 p.m.)

Well, this could hardly have worked out better�today was my day off, I had nothing particularly compelling to do...then Mark and Jane�s video �care package� came in the mail (With the first two episodes of The Sopranos and Big Love, the new HBO show starring Bill Paxton as a Utah polygamist with three wives).

I am so going to miss The Sopranos when it�s gone. As an actor, I feel like if I ever get to be part of something that good...well, I was going to say, �...then my life won�t have been a complete waste�, but that seemed a little harsh; let�s just say, �If I ever get to be part of something that good...I�ll be very happy�, and leave it at that.

And I was instantly hooked on Big Love. And I have a feeling it�s going to get better as it goes along, and �finds its footing�.

Seeing the two shows back-to-back, I thought about how, even though the settings could hardly be more different, they have some similarities�They both concern a �family man� dealing with the pressures of �an alternative lifestyle� (A �lifestyle� that, in both cases, could get them into legal hot water). They both have unusual �extended families�, if you will.

Thurs 3/31/06 (2:24 p.m.)

Just got off the phone with Cary a short time ago.
I don�t want to talk too much about his business, because that�s his business. But long story short, he very much wants to stay where he�s at�in Newhall-and doesn�t plan on leaving unless circumstances really force his hand.

Which is good news for me.

It�s kind of mysterious�The White House is denying doing anything, the State Department is denying doing anything, and Jill Carroll herself doesn�t know why they released her.

But in any case, it�s good news in a place where good news is hard to come by.

(Yay!)

That means the rent will be no problem for the next month or two.

Of course, being who I am, I almost immediately went from enjoying my temporarily inflated bank balance, to worrying about what I�m going to do come June.

But for now, the rent is paid, creditors are being assuaged, and a visit to the grocery store doesn�t make my stomach hurt from stress.

And that�s a good thing.

And I�m past due for booking a commercial or co-star role or something, so we�ll just plan on that happening between now and then.

The Grey�s Anatomy part wasn�t very descriptive�Just the character name �Jim�, who is �the father of a patient��but of course, getting on that show in any capacity would be cool.

But the Shield role amused me as I read it�The part is �Axl�, the owner/operator of a porn shop, who makes �grandmother� porn movies on the side, starring himself and various old ladies (His big scene is getting beaten up by someone who isn�t too happy when they see �Granny� in a compromising position).

This sort of proves what I�ve said about casting on The Shield: If you�re a middle-aged white guy, and you�re not playing a cop, you�re probably going to be a rapist or pedophile or some other type of sexual deviant.

Anyway, the idea of playing this role...well, it makes me want to laugh just thinking about it.

And since I don�t think I�m going to top the idea of me as �niche-market porn star", I�m going to wrap this up, and try to get in my pre-work, tired middle-aged guy nap.

Nitey-nite, sports fans...

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