8:08 am - THU 4/18/02
Work is great...except for the part where it doesn't pay the bills or help me prepare for the future
Just finished getting out some headshots to agents, and paying a couple credit card bills...

Sometimes paying bills actually makes me feel GOOD. I feel like " Hey, I actually AM an adult! And I'm going to make it for at least another MONTH!".

But within the past couple months, by MY accounting, I've started slipping into "negative numbers".

Right now, after writing those two credit card checks (For barely more than the minimum payment), I should have about $120 in my checking account. I get paid tomorrow, and will get about $367 dollars (Working about 4 hours a week less lately than when I started "full time" at the store).

That's $487 (If I'd done the math BEFORE I sent those checks out, I might have made them for JUST the minimum, even though I know you don't make any HEADWAY that way).

My rent, due by the first of next month, is $495.

I have three utility bills yet to be paid on my desk.

Everytime I go to the bank and deposit a check, THEY show me with a balance over $1000. I KNOW that can't be RIGHT--I'm really not making enough money to be paying my rent and bills AND be maintaining nearly the same balance from month-to-month--but so far, none of my checks have BOUNCED, so there we are.

I'm still pretty scared, though.

For a time, I fantasized that some "Mystery Benefactor" was helping me out. But I imagine the REALITY is that there's just been some slowness/incompetence on the part of the bank, and at some point, their figures are going to match up with MY figures...and then the REAL fun will begin.

Well, there will be more on this later--count on it--but let's move on to HAPPIER subjects.

In spite of my best efforts to warn them away, Chris and Cary & Kay are coming to the show tomorrow.

I've been embarrassed at the thought of giving people so little "entertainment value" for their money, but obviously for my friends, it's not just about "getting their money's worth" in terms of a SHOW here; They want to be SUPPORTIVE, which is pretty nice.

So I'm going to get OVER any embarrassment and unhappiness about the show, do my best, and just be glad I have friends willing to pay $15 a pop for the thrill of seeing me onstage.

One more bit of "Happy News"; The tape Jane made of "Six Feet Under" episodes was in yesterday's mail (In a small enough package to get in my mailbox, so I didn't have to wait till the office was open to get it). Thanks Jane!

Well, I'm into "I should have left for work a few minutes ago" time here, so I gots to go.

See ya...

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