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11:15 AM - Fri 5.15.20

Happy Birthday! You're Fired!

(I have now accidentally deleted this entry twice - It's almost like the Universe is against me or something. But nevertheless, I persist...)

Have two big pieces of news, and I don't know which should go first...but here goes:

Yesterday I was let go at Weight Watchers.

And today's my birthday

If I hadn't fucked up yesterday, I would have been fired in a scheduled "business conference call"...but since I confused my time zones, I ended up calling the Territory Manager a couple hours later and receiving a one-on-one reading of the prepared statement she'd read to the larger group hours earlier.

Turns out there had been two emails sent out announcing two separate conference calls yesterday - If you received the one inviting you to a 12:30 call, that was "the good one" (With a statement that said "Congratulations - You still have a job."), whereas if you were invited to the 1:00 pm call, you got the decidedly less-good, "Thank you for your service. Now GTFO" statement.

While I was not completely surprised by this turn-of-events (Under the current circumstances, it seemed unlikely the TM was going to tell us, "Things are going great - raises for everyone!"), I thought the news might be that we were extending the virtual meetings for another couple months, or that Guides (My role at WW) would be "furloughed" until the studios reopened, something along those lines.

But I was terminated, effective immediately, will be paid through the end of the month, will be paid for unused vacation days (Now I'm really wishing I'd taken all my sick days, cause those are just gone now), and will be given a free WW membership for life.

Twelve years of a job - The longest I've worked at any single job - over in the time it took to read a 30-second prepared statement...

Ain't that something?

(There will undoubtedly be "more later"...)


So, it's also my birthday.

Got a couple cards in the mail yesterday, and a "birthday parcel" from Mark and Jane (Would have gotten something from Jane R. as well, but missed the delivery somehow - Hoping I'll get it today, so I can FaceTime with her and we can "make a thing" of it).

(Mark and Jane also hired Mike M. to do a Cameo for me, which I thought was funny.)

The big birthday plan leading up to the day was to Postmate some WW-unfriendly takeout, watch a pricey VOD movie (Because if I can't spring for that on my birthday, when can I?) and maybe "order myself something pretty" off Amazon.


I'm probably still gonna do the first two, but likely skip the Amazon part (Among other lovely gifts, Mark and Jane gave me a $200 Target gift card, so if I absolutelyhave to "buy myself something pretty" for birthday #59, that would seem the way to go).

And again, expect to be spending some time virtually "hanging out" with Jane R. (Now I'm kinda stressing that FedEx actually won't deliver yesterday's package "on the next business day", which would suck. Because today is my birthday, while tomorrow is just...Saturday).

In a perfect world, I would be getting to do the thing I've done for the past couple years, and having lunch or dinner or something with my handful of friends out here (Tim, Mike, Cary, and Josh...the latter of whom is actually not out here anymore, since he moved back to Austin).

And I wouldn't have gotten fired the day before (I guess I should say "laid-off", since that's actually what happened. "Fired" sounds like I did something to earn my fate).

But as birthdays go, I've had worse - With the two Janes, calls from Gregg and Brittany, a couple cards from friends, and the usual Facebook thing, it's not like attention hasn't been paid.

Which is kinda all I need at this juncture - For a couple pivotal folks to say "Hey, you were born! We think that's pretty cool".

For now, life goes on.

And I'm okay.

Till next time...


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