Get your own
 diary at! contact me older entries newest entry

10:15 AM - 12.01.16
Happy Fucking Holidays

Happy Fucking Holidays

The "holiday season" is once again upon us.

And I kinda hate the holidays.

I know lots of people struggle around the holidays - with loneliness, with unrealistic expectations, with holiday-related stresses of one kind of another, etc - but what happens to me is way worse than what anyone else goes through, or has ever gone through during the holidays...because it's happening to me.

But seriously, I feel like this year could be more challenging than most.

First, there was "The Worst Thing That's Happened To America Since 9/11" (aka the recent election, for those not following current events), which I'm still struggling with emotionally (Tremendously depressed by the news on a daily basis, and I don't think the news is getting better anytime soon).

Secondly, there's my dying-if-not-actually-dead- already career - Used to be I could get through the holidays, in part, by looking ahead to the new year and the exciting possibilities in front of me...but "feeling hopeful about the future"? Well, let's just say it isn't "a mindset I have easy-access to" at the moment.

And thirdly, feeling that "things are winding down" in my life - that what I wanted to have happen isn't going to happen (In terms of love and career and what-all) - makes going into a season where, year-after-year, "what I want to have happen" doesn't, particularly tough.

But I presume, barring some catastrophic event - earthquake, terrorist attack, life-ending bodily betrayal, etc - I will "get through" the holidays, and "live to fight another day".

(Well, not so much "fight" as "flail weakly at whatever challenges come my way"...but you get the idea.)


previous - next

0 comments so far
about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at!