1:44 pm - Sun 2/13/05
Sun 2/13/05 (10:16 a.m.)
Doing a load of laundry, mostly so my audition clothes will be clean for a possible ESPN callback tomorrow (It's probably not happening, but "better safe than sorry"). From there, it's off to the grocery store, to buy good food that will begin my march to slimness and trimness.
Just finished chatting with Jane. She's carrying a few more pounds that she's happy with, so she suggested we form a little support group, with the goal of losing ten pounds (I need to lose a lot more than ten pounds, but "the journey of a thousand miles" and all that. And apparently, if you're overweight, losing even ten pounds can have significant health benefits. And right now, just "starting the journey" would be a personal victory).
When I talk with Jane about food/cooking/dieting stuff, I often end up feeling overwhelmed and anxious (That's because it doesn't really take much for me to feel "overwhelmed and anxious" when it comes to, for want of a better phrase, "doing stuff"). But really, I know what "eating right" entails, and know myself well enough to know the kind of things I'm capable of doing and making stick (ex. I'm not very likely to become a lo-cal gourmet cook, but I can train myself to eat more fruits and vegatables, and drink more water).
Where Jane comes in, really, is that I need outside encouragement, someone to be proud of me and say "You're doing great. Stick with it". Someone who cares about my health and well-being.
(Laundry's in the dryer...)
Thinking about money...
While I know "Money Isn't Everything"–there are plenty of unhappy rich people out there–I can't think of any area in my life that isn't negatively impacted by my lack of money.
But how much money is "enough"?
If you have enough money to cover all your needs and a number of your wants, if you have enough money to cover an emergency–Job loss, medical bill, etc.–and you have enough to invest in your future, then you have "enough".
And by that criteria, I most definitely do not have "enough". In fact, I pretty much fail on all three counts.
So is there any hope for poor, impoverished Jim...?
When I leave Borders, I'll have a 401K that I'll be "rolling over" into an IRA. It's not going to be much, but it'll be something. And come hell or high water, I'm leaving that money alone; while it seemed like a good idea at the time–soon after I got to L.A.-- I've come to seriously regret "cashing in" my 401K from Schuler Books. I mortaged my future for what turned out to be very temporary "debt relief".
And I don't know how much more successful I'm going to get with commercials/acting, but I imagine there will be some good years ahead. Hopefully, some very good years.
The fantasy is that I'll be a steadily working character actor, maybe even get on a series. And that could definitely happen (As an actor, I think I'd be ambivalent about a series. But financially, it could mean being set for life, or at least, being set for a very long time). But the more likely, more "realistic" scenario is that I'll have good years and bad; it's very possible I'll always have to do something else for a more "steady" income. That would suck–it's not what I came out here for–and I hope that's not the way it goes, but the fact is, that's "the way it goes" for the bulk of actors in L.A.
The good thing, in my mind, about the Notary business, is that I could do it forever if I had to (So long as I could see and hear and was physically mobile). I already feel like I'm 20 years too old to be in retail–I've grown embarrassed, being at Borders at my age, doing a job high school kids can do nearly as well–but I imagine, as a Notary, being an older guy might actually make you look more credible.
Something else I was thinking about recently–And I can't tell if this constitutes "planning to fail" or "planning ahead"–is taking a bartending class.
I thought about it a lot when I was younger–cause I knew that was one of the things that actors "do for a living". But I persuaded myself it "wasn't for me", perhaps because of its resemblence to "food service".
But it can pay good money. And if the notary thing doesn't work out–If the driving/parking drives me nuts, or if it just doesn't bring in the money I'm hoping for, or whatever–it might be good to have a "backup plan".
Cause while my "Primary Goal" is to become a full-time actor, my "Secondary Goal" is that once I get out of retail, I stay out of retail.
Back from the grocery store...
I thought this was pretty funny–Mr. "I'm Going To Start Eating Healthier" goes into Ralphs, and sees that Hostess Pies are on sale, 10 for $10, a savings of 29 cents per pie (Before my tempestuous affair with "Little Debbie", I had a long-term relationship with Hostess).
I managed to resist the almost comical temptation, but I didn't leave the store completely pure: While I left with a cart containing mostly fruits and vegatables, a 99-cent bag of Crackerjacks jumped in while I wasn't looking, hiding under a bunch of bananas.
But all-in-all, I did really well.
As a matter of fact, it's been a pretty good morning, all told--I got that load of laundry done, grocery shopped, got to chat with Jane, and did this.
But now, I feel a nap calling me...
See ya later.
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