8:44 AM - 10.07.21
Do you ever sometimes kinda get what you asked for but it takes you a minute to realize it?
That happened to me yesterday.
A self-tape TV audition came in Friday night, which Jane R. helped me with on Sunday (It was two scenes, for a recurring role on a show I was quite enthused about, with two actors I would really enjoy meeting/working with).
As I said in a previous draft of this entry, I felt good enough about the audition that "It wouldn't shock me" if I booked it (This despite the usual second-guessing about what I should or shouldn't have done - From getting it in earlier to not doing a certain bit of business to having more of a sad-sack take on the role ).
That audition was due by Monday at Noon.
When I didn't hear anything by Monday night, I was disappointed, but holding out hope - While it might have already been decided, it seemed possible things were still "in play".
So Tuesday, in spite of myself - because it's really not good for one's mental health - "getting the call" was front-and-center in my thoughts (Running a distant second was hoping that, if I didn't get "the call", I'd get a call about something else, so I could put the audition behind me and move on).
That day, as I hung out with Jane at The Grove - going to the Apple Store to have my MacBook checked out and having lunch at The Farmer's Market - I felt my mood sinking by the minute (I also didn't feel good physically - starting to worry that a lifetime of not sleeping is really starting to "catch up" with me - which didn't help matters).
But I didn't get "the call", or even the "consolation prize" call for another audition or what-have-you.
So yesterday, while I intellectually told myself it could still happen, I felt pretty certain it hadn't.
But then during lunch at Subway with Jane, I got an email from my commercial agent - I was "on avail" for the commercial I'd virtually auditioned for the previous week.
So Jane was quite happy for me, and I was happy for me as well (Though my happiness was a little more...qualified, since "avails" can go either way).
(And in late-breaking news - Just got "pinned" for a nothing role in a low-budget independent film I recently auditioned for. Which is fun in an "It's always nice to be wanted" way, but means jack-shit to me otherwise.)
It wasn't till a few hours later that it struck me - The commercial avail was "the other call" that I'd wanted to get, in order to distract me from worrying about the TV thing.
And as "consolation prizes" go - because, given the choice, I'd rather get the TV thing - booking this commercial wouldn't be bad (If nothing else, it's a weird product and a weird role, and I'm just curious what the shoot would be like. But there's also the sweet, sweet money to consider).
And on a note of possibility, with "pins" and "avails" flying about, this seems a good time to wrap things up (Besides, I'm scheduled to have a late breakfast with Jane and need to give myself at least a light cleansing before going out in public...).
Till next time...